If you’re like most guys, you might be starting to wonder if attractive women ever respond on Tinder. You’ve matched with girls you like, but you just can’t seem to get the conversation started, despite your best efforts to wax poetic. She was interested enough to swipe right, so why won’t she write you back?
You’re not alone. In fact, thousands of guys just like you have hired my team here at Virtual Dating Assistants to bring their online dating game from “ho hum” to “awesome” overnight. We do this by writing killer profiles, optimizing their photo lineup and sending proven opening lines for them. One thing our data makes crystal clear is that your messages will make or break your results. The specific words you choose can literally make the difference between an initial response rate of five percent and 80 percent on Tinder. It all boils down to one simple question: How does your opening line make her feel?
If you don’t make her feel anything at all, your chance of getting a response plummets. Or if you trigger the wrong emotion, you can forget about meeting her in person. Boring messages like, “Hey, how was your weekend” or, “Hi there” just don’t work, because there’s no instant emotional connection. You haven’t piqued her curiosity, made her laugh or intrigued her in any way. That’s why I’m revealing 10 opening lines for Tinder that have already been tested to get you responses and dates. I’ll even explain what makes them effective so you can come up with custom high-performing lines of your own.
An opening line that sounds like it was written just for her can work very well. Look to create types of messages around common hobbies and scenarios. That way, when you find a winner, you can copy and paste it to more women.
Win her over with humor.
According to research, a whopping 97 percent of single women believe having a good sense of humor is just as attractive as being handsome—so if your icebreaker message puts a smile on her face, the odds are definitely in your favor.
But there’s one caveat, and it’s a big one: Your line needs to really be funny. That means no cheesy pickup lines and no crass come-ons. Keep it classy, even if you’re looking for “Mrs. Right Now.”
Writing funny isn’t easy, but these example openers will get you thinking in the right direction:
GIFs are an excellent way to grab her attention, by the way. Who wouldn’t crack a smile when they see any of these?:
Tinder’s own research found that opening a conversation with a GIF made her 30 percent more likely to respond—and the conversations lasted twice as long. Don’t just hit her with a GIF, though. Write something and follow it with a simple question. Show some creativity and make it both entertaining and easy for her to respond.
Make her hungry for more.
Ask her a question that’s pleasurable to think about, and she’ll be eager to keep the conversation going. One proven way to do this is by whetting her appetite with a food-related opener.
In fact, the data crunchers over at Hinge found that women on their app were 40 percent more likely to respond to messages about food. Here are two great examples:
So think about what types of food women love (chocolate, ice cream, cheesecake, etc.) and tempt her with a mouthwatering question.
Kickstart a daydream.
Some of the best opening lines take her directly to her “happy place.” Most women enjoy travel, or at least thinking about exotic destinations, so opening lines like these will work well:
Make it seem personalized.
An opening line that sounds like it was written just for her can work very well. Look to create these types of messages around common hobbies and scenarios. That way, when you find a winner, you can copy and paste it to more women.
Any specific hobby like “skiing” in her bio or unique photo can be an invitation to create a strong connection with her right off the bat. And even if she writes something vague like “I’m into sports,” you can send her a message like this:
If you run across a hottie with a difficult-to-pronounce name, send her this opening line:
These two examples appear to be personalized, but you can copy and paste them again and again, whenever her profile fits the message. You just need to get organized, and that’s next.
More data, more dates.
Spreadsheets aren’t just for nerds anymore. Nerds have already been getting their revenge with online dating for years, but as the saying goes, “If you can’t beat them, join them!”
Tinder is your new laboratory. It’s time to get your geek glasses on.
Whenever you come up with a new opening line, keep track of the ongoing response rate it achieves. I recommend using a simple spreadsheet like this:
The math is simple: The Number of Positive Replies / Number of Times Sent = Your Response Rate. This Response Rate Calculator makes it even easier. The hardest part is having the discipline to keep track each time you send a message and note when a woman responds to it. Do this consistently and accurately, and you’ll know which opening lines to use more and which to ditch.
You’ll often be surprised about what the data tells you. For example, when I first started testing Tinder lines, one of my favorites always made my buddies laugh. But women voted against it by not responding. The message was, “So is Jesus the only man in your life right now?” It received around a 14 percent response rate (including some less-than-positive feedback from Jewish women). Meanwhile, the “going halfsies on a bottle of Jack and a beautiful bastard child” line above boasted a 76 percent response rate. I didn’t see that coming, and that’s why you need to test, test, test.
Even the most effective openers in the world can be hit or miss depending on what guy is sending them and what girl is on the receiving end. Some of the examples I’ve shown you today are best for women in their lower 20s or upper 20s, and not for both age groups. You need to see what works best for you and your matches. Remember: Keeping track of your results allows you to make data-driven decisions about which messages to use more or less, so that you can build your own arsenal of surefire openers that are proven to attract the women you want to meet.
Time to get busy.
On Tinder, so many matches fizzle out before they begin, because no one makes the first move. Let’s not ever be “that guy.”
With these 10 opening lines, you can message your matches right now. Follow my advice, and soon you’ll be seeing which specific lines get your favorite Tinderellas writing you back, dropping digits and meeting up with you in the real world.
Your turn. Do you have a Tinder opener that charms the girls you like best every time? Or at least a line you’re working on now? Share it in the comments section, and good luck out there!
Photo: Getty Images/Yagi Studio