Unfortunately, it takes a few dates to reveal someone's true colors, but women keep a keen eye on red flags from date numero uno. And they'll tally said red flags until they pile up so high, they've become one giant deal-breaker and you don't get a call back. Success with women is as much about what you don’t do as it is about what you do. You might feel like you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t when it comes to dating, but not to worry, we’re here to spell it out for you. Here are the 10 biggest red flags that ward most women off after a date or two, and why, so you don’t have to think too hard… because over-analyzers are no bueno.
1. Insecurity: Assume the sell, boys, and put the fishing rods down. You’ll never catch a compliment if you’re not confident. Take “a guy like me” out of your vocabulary and quit repeating that she’s too good for you. It’s flattering, we suppose, but putting her on a pedestal will only make her contemplate why it is that she’s actually with “a guy like you.”
2. Arrogance: On the contrary, cockiness is nothing more than a façade to mask the aforementioned insecurities. If you find yourself bragging to convince her you’re a catch, she’ll smell the bullshit. Only when you convince yourself that you’re a catch will she buy it— a self-assured man who doesn’t seek validation or approval is wildly attractive.
3. Dependency: She’s not your mother. Show her that you can take care of your own life but want to share it with her, not that you need her to be your life. Sure, this girl is fire, but when you smother a fire, it disappears. It’s simple science.
4. Jealousy: Jealousy is a manifestation of distrust, which also ties in with those insecurities. If you’re jealous, it’s likely because you have something to hide yourself, or because you’re still carrying around baggage from an ex who cheated on you six years ago. Very unsexy.
5. Dull conversation: You don’t have to study up like you’re prepping for an interview, but you should know what’s going on in the world, or at least in your own world. No, we’re not talking politics, and neither should you. But women do relish real conversations, like about family, travel, life lessons and whatnot. If the talk stays surface level, so will your relationship.
6. Dishonesty: Liars never prevail—let that be heard. She has eyes and ears all over the place, on social media and beyond. It’s easy to believe someone when you’re blinded by love or lust, but that’s why women tell their friends everything for second, third and fourth opinions. If her friends don’t call your bluffs, the Internet will.
7. Short temper: Your hot head does not impress women; it mortifies them. Bar fights are not the irresistible displays of machismo you think they are. You have anger issues, which is alarming and tells her that you don’t know how to maturely handle disagreements. Worse, if you get your ass kicked, you’ve just lost your girl and your dignity.
8. Lack of interests: Don’t be the guy without any interests of his own. It’s fun to explore new things together, which means that she also wants to learn. Maybe you’re learning the guitar or maybe you just have a favorite restaurant in town because they’ve got the best chargrilled burgers around. Whatever it is, expose her to it. People get attracted when another person intrigues them in some capacity. If you do nothing or know nothing intriguing, you’re just kind of lame.
9. Disregard for service people: Disrespect is a turn-off, period. Women pay close attention to how you treat people who serve you as some indication to how you might treat them down the line. So try not to be so rude to your waiter, your cab driver or that Capital One rep, despite how long they’ve had you on hold.
10. Selfishness: Whether it's turning a blind eye to her pleasure in the bedroom or ignoring her desires outside of it, selfishness is incredibly unappealing. We’re not just talking about doing little deeds like getting flowers, which lose their charm after every time you screw up, but being aware of her needs as another human being—and responding to them.