10. All the rooms in the hospital covered in your plan have bunk beds.

9. The nurse checks your throat and the stick has a slight taste of fudgecicle

8. The receptionist tells you the doctor is running late because the boss held him over at his other job.

7. Everyone’s lab jackets at the hospital have Wonderbread logos and other sponsorship all over them

6. You read the fine print on your insurance statement and it says you are not covered for “anything above the ankles”

5. Your provider has a new “Roll the Dice” plan where you pay $5 a month but only covers heart attacks and car crashes.

4. The plan states it covers “most things that can’t be fixed using WebMD”

3. Rather than specialist, the hospital has “Spin the Wheel of Doctors” in the lobby

2. All the IV drips are coin operated

1. Have a new buy 2 get 1 free cancer treatment sale going on in August because it’s a slow month.