Men, put the rulebooks down. And for God’s sake, stop sneaking your sister’s Cosmo for inside intel on women. You can score all the info you need right here, and you won’t even have to explain why you smell like perfume and know all about my cycle. Getting a woman to fawn over you can be tricky, but it’ll be much easier if you note these surprising things that make us swoon. So get on it—chick magnet-tude awaits.
1. Nicely Fitted Clothes: The sexiness of a man who dresses for his body is highly underrated. Now, I’m not saying I need to see what you think is your six-pack through your shirts. Too tight clothes are just as much of a turn-off as too-loose ones. I’m talking tailored shirts that don’t billow at the waist, suits that don’t allude to your 5-year-old self trying on Dad’s clothes, and pants that fall straight around your legs as opposed to being large enough to slip down and reveal the top of your boxers (ugh). Make sense?
2. Maintaining Your Friendships: Don’t get me wrong—if we’re in a relationship, I love when you make time for me, and expect you to do so regularly. But that doesn’t mean I want you to completely lose touch with your friends. Seeing you be a “guy’s guy” (read: the whiskey-sipping, sports-talking guy’s guy, NOT the farting, skeeze-talking guy’s guy) reaffirms my image of you as the “man” I like having around to make me feel safe and loved. Bonus: when you make an effort to connect with friends, old and new, you show you’re loyal—and what girl doesn’t love that?
3. Actually Enjoying Chick Flicks: Should you be renting Sex and the City DVDs and staying home Friday night to watch them? No. That’s weird. But when I’m watching SATC, or I bring you along to Crazy, Stupid Love in the theatre and I see you actually enjoying and getting invested it, I see the sensitive side of you that sweetly complements the masculine, protective side. It’s the perfect combo.
4. Drinking Wine: Let’s clear something up: wine is not feminine. Sure, I get that in college you didn’t want to be the guy sipping on a pinot while your frat brothers were crushing Keystone Lights. But you’re presumably an adult now. And you’re presumably comfortable with yourself and your masculinity. Or at least that’s what I deduce when I see you with wine in hand, or asking our waiter for California red suggestions. You don’t need to be a wine expert, but just the fact that you’re not afraid to drink it shows me that you’re grown up and somewhat sophisticated. Unless you down a whole bottle during a pre-game, in which case, well… that’s still OK with me.
5. Making Fun of Us: The scenario: you imitate something I did or said last week, maybe even in your attempted-girl voice. You’re laughing. I say something along the lines of, “Stop teasing me, it’s not nice!” But inside, I’m thrilled. Tickled, even. (Disclaimer: if what you’re making fun of me for is wolfing down three slices of pizza at dinner or falling down the stairs in front of my entire office, the following does not apply.) The fact that you’re imitating or teasing me means a couple things: You remember things I say and do, and you find them cute/entertaining/endearing. And I will never tire of being cute/entertaining/endearing, that’s for sure. So next time I jump up and down trying to reach something on the top shelf, or excitedly ramble about gummy bears, feel free to make fun. I’ll love it.
6. V-Neck Sweaters: I know so many straight guys who are more terrified of a V-neck sweater than they are of a fire bomb. My advice to those guys? Get over it. Just like a crewneck sweater doesn’t automatically make you manly, a V-neck doesn’t automatically make you the opposite. In fact, a V-neck over a nice, patterned button-up is incredibly stylish, sexy and mature. You should try it sometime.
7. Eating Healthy: You’re a guy—your appetite is probably bigger than mine. That’s totally fine and expected. But no guy is immune to the effects of daily chicken nuggets and fries. Watching you scarf down greasy, fatty meals regularly is, well, gross, and worse, it shows you don’t care about your health or your body, signaling a lack of maturity. I appreciate few things more than a man who takes care of himself. Sure, everyone’s gotta indulge sometimes: Pizza after the bar? Sure. Peanut butter and jelly for lunch? Absolutely. (Oh wait, that’s my favorite.) But the key word here is “sometimes.”
8. Asserting Power: In no way am I giving you the right to physically or mentally abuse me—there’s nothing that would make me flee faster. What I’m referring to here is being the decision-maker when my indecisiveness gets the best of me, suggesting and planning dates, and standing up to guys who are creepin’ on me (no need for a fist fight—stern words and your arm around my shoulder will do just fine). Not only will I appreciate you filling in when I need you, but I’ll also recognize your strong, solid self, and I’ll like it.
9. Jealousy: This one’s pretty simple. If you’re not jealous, you don’t care. At least, that’s how it looks. But if you get a little hot-and-bothered when my best guy friend calls, or steal me away from another guy making conversation at the bar, it’s validating that you have a vested interest in me and aren’t willing to just let me go. Provided you don’t take it that jealousy to psycho levels, it’s just plain cute.
10. Hanging Out with Mom: Just not more than with me. You may have heard this one before, but it’s so worth repeating: if you have a good relationship with your family, there’s a good chance you’re caring, and that you’ll have a good relationship with me. And if you’re sweet enough to block out a Saturday here and there to hang out with your mom—and treat her well—it shows you respect women and, ideally, respect me. And that, my friends, is guaranteed to score points.