1. Star Wars: Episode VII cast announced
In addition to the original stars (Hamill, Ford, Fisher), the next generation of Jedis, droids and other things will include Adam Driver (Girls), Oscar Isaac (Inside Llewyn Davis) and Andy Serkis (Lord of the Rings). Fingers crossed for no Jar Jar Binks cameos. [Washington Post]

2. Sex makes you happier than money
A new study from Dartmouth College and the University of Warwick shows that time in the sack is better for your sense of well-being than cash in the bank. Does this mean we can all quit our jobs?

3. Nissan is testing the world’s first self-cleaning car
In Switzerland, auto manufacturers are perfecting a car whose paint repels water and oil. The good: Never pay for a car wash again. The bad: Never get to watch a sexy car-wash montage again. [CNBC]

4. Execution goes wrong in Oklahoma
Death row inmate Clayton Lockett suffered horribly when a lethal injection went awry, before finally dying of a heart attack. Can we finally agree that this whole death penalty thing is an awful idea?
[New York Times]

5. Seattle adopts the highest minimum wage in the world
In a coup for workers everywhere, the city announced plans to raise minimum wage to $15 per hour. Finally, a win for the little guy. [The Atlantic Cities]

6. Sixty-three high school students arrested in a senior prank
In Teaneck, New Jersey, seniors caught trashing their high school with Silly String, Vaseline, hot dogs and urine were booked by the cops. And you thought that thing you did to the girls’ bathroom in 1998 was bad. []

7. Neanderthals weren’t any dumber than us
Despite common stereotypes, club-wielding morons these extinct humans weren’t; scientists say they were probably just as smart as homo sapiens. But that Fred Flintstone…he’s still an idiot. [Guardian UK]

8. More than 50 American colleges under investigation for sexual assault
Schools across the country, including three Ivys, have come under federal scrutiny for their handling of sexual-violence cases on campus. [Washington Post]

9. Blue whale carcasses primed to explode in Canada
Three 60-ton whale corpses washed up on the shores of Newfoundland are bloating with methane gas and could burst at any moment. And you thought that smell in the back of your fridge was foul. [CNN]

10. Emma Stone and Jimmy Fallon face off in epic lip-sync battle
The Amazing Spider-Man 2 star brought down the house on The Tonight Show when she busted out a killer “cover” of DJ Khaled’s “All I Do Is Win.” Ludacris ain’t got nothin’ on Stone. []