1. Two brains communicate telepathically between India and France
Harvard University researchers used a complex system of binary code, e-mails and brain stimulation to deliver a brain-to-brain message between two subjects thousands of miles apart. So okay, there were robots and computers involved. But still—awesome! [Telegraph]

2. NATO summit leads to anti-ISIS coalition, Eastern Europe reaction force
At a summit held in Wales, U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry formed a ten-nation group to help combat ISIS’s growing power in Iraq and Syria. This comes a few days after the militant group publicly executed a second captive American journalist, Steven Sotloff. NATO also agreed to establish a 4,000-strong force to fend off Russian aggression in Eastern Europe. [Time, CNN, NYTimes]

3. Seahawks and Packers kick off NFL season
Pigskin time is upon us once more, and it opened with a bang on Thursday night, as defending Super Bowl champs the Seattle Seahawks beat the Green Bay Packers 36 to 16. Sorry about that, Cheeseheads. There’s always next time. [LA Times]

4. Joan Rivers dead at 81
The stand-up pioneer, celebrity-piss-taker and all-around force of nature passed away this week due to complications following a throat procedure. On her funeral wish list: A wind machine, a diamond-encrusted toe tag, and Meryl Streep weeping “in five different accents.” We’re sad you weren’t an undying immortal after all, Joan, but we’ll do our best to make it happen. [Vulture, Mashable]

5. Ceasefire stands in Ukraine
We’re highly skeptical of any good news in this summer of chaos; but so far, a ceasefire between government forces and pro-Russian rebels has held in the bitterly divided country. It’s been less than a day so far, but here’s hoping they’re better at this kind of thing in Eastern Europe than they are in the Middle East. [Guardian]

6. Largest species of dinosaur unearthed in Argentina
Say hello to Dreadnoughtus schrani, an 85-foot-long, 65-ton behemoth that roamed the Earth 77 million years ago. Though the big guy was an herbivore, it probably didn’t have to worry too much about predators; it was bigger than a Boeing 737, after all. No wonder its name means “fear nothing.” [Smithsonian]

7. John Oliver co-anchors with Cookie Monster
The Last Week Tonight host and Sesame Street glutton donned ties and self-important gazes to talk cookies, vocabulary, semantics and more cookies. Look out for guest appearances from Kate McKinnon, Nick Offerman and Al Roker. We LITERALLY never want to see news read by anyone aside from these two. [NPR]

8. Fast-food workers across America strike for fair wages
McDonald’s, Burger King and KFC employees took to the streets in 159 U.S. cities to campaign for higher wages and the right to unionize. Hundreds of protesters were arrested nationwide, to the point where Detroit police ran out of handcuffs. Maybe instead of booking them, we should acknowledge that they totally have a point? Just a suggestion. [Think Progress]

9. Frenchman arrested for calling and texting his ex 21,807 times
In Rhone, an unnamed man was jailed for harassing his former girlfriend with an insane barrage of text messages and phone calls over a ten-month period. (We’re talking 73 calls a day here.) Regarding his actions, the guy has fessed up that “it was stupid.” No shit, dude. [Guardian]

10. Watching too many action movies makes you fat
Mind that popcorn! In a study conducted at Cornell University, researchers found that subjects watching 2005 Michael Bay flick The Island downed twice as many snacks as those watching interviews on Charlie Rose. Of course, it could just be oral compensation for how mind-numbingly bad The Island is. [CBS News]