1. Scotland votes to stay in U.K., independence leader resigns
Following months (and, let’s face it, centuries) of buildup, Scotland voted against breaking away from the rest of the United Kingdom by a 10.6 margin. In response, Scottish government head and independence proponent Alex Salmond stepped down from his post as First Minister. Apparently they can take OUR FREEDOOOMMM! And pretty easily, too. [Guardian, LA Times]

2. Manned spaceflight returns to America
Ground Control to Major Tom! In a press conference Tuesday, NASA administrator Charles Bolden announced plans for two U.S. companies—Boeing and SpaceX—to build vehicles that will transport American astronauts to the International Space Station. (We’d been relying on Russians to take us there ever since the shuttle program ended in 2011.) The move should free up NASA to work on getting our people to Mars, and beyond.

3. Freddie Mercury–Michael Jackson duet released after 29 years
They may both be dead, but they ain’t licked yet. The Queen frontman and the King of Pop recorded a once-in-a-lifetime duet called “There Must Be More to Life Than This” way back in 1985, but it was never completed, and remained unheard by the falsetto-loving public—until now. Producer William Orbit polished it up in time for the release of forthcoming compilation Queen Forever. If you listen to the track backwards, you can hear Freddie whispering: “Adam Lambert is laaamme!” Spooky. [Rolling Stone]

4. NFL commissioner talks domestic-abuse policy
The NFL has been seriously dropping the ball lately when it comes to holding players responsible for their atrocious off-field behavior. After way too long not talking about it, NFL commish Roger Goodell spoke publicly of his plans to create a “personal conduct committee” to deal with players accused of domestic violence. He was also incredibly vague about it, and said he wouldn’t be resigning in spite of his shoddy handling of the situation—so forgive us if we don’t give you a standing ovation, Goodell. [New York Times]

5. France conducts airstrike against ISIS
Looks like maybe that international-coalition stuff Obama’s been talking about is a thing after all. This week, French fighter jets joined U.S. forces in bombing an ISIS logistics depot in Iraq. President François Hollande has announced further French involvement in the fighting in the near future. [NBC News]

6. Dreams get progressively weirder, study finds
The subconscious is a crazy place, and it only gets wackier the longer you sleep. According to researchers at the University of Bedfordshire, dreams get stranger and less connected to waking life the further along people are in their sleep cycles—which probably accounts for that one we had about the mustachioed-spatula invasion circa 5am last night. [Time]

7. Pabst Brewing sold to Russian conglomerate
Russian company Oasis Beverages just shelled out $700 for the brewery behind all-American bilge-water staples Pabst Blue Ribbon, Old Milwaukee, Schlitz and Colt 45. According to Oasis chairman Eugene Kashper, PBR represents “individualism, egalitarianism and freedom of expression.” He forgot to mention happy-hour specials, vomiting and fixie bikes. [Fast Company]

8. Chinese city opens texting lane
Welcome to Chongqing, a tourist city in southwest China where sidewalks have been spray-painted to include a phone lane for pedestrians who walk with their heads buried in their texts. Naturally, it’s only made the sidewalk more congested, as gawkers have stopped to snap photos of the “First mobile phone sidewalks in China” sign with … you guessed it … their mobile phones. [BBC]

9. Waka Flocka Flame hires Seth Rogen to roll his joints
Oh, famous people. Earlier this week, rapper Waka Flocka Flame posted a job listing on his Instragram: $50,000 a year to be his professional blunt roller. Waka got plenty of responses, of course, but the winning application was Seth Rogen, via tweet. Pineapple Express is now officially real life. [SFGate]

10. Texan fights off home invader with a spear
Don’t mess with Jimmy Morgan Jr. When his trailer was broken into, the Wichita Falls, Texas, resident stabbed the thief with a spear he keeps by his bed. Turns out the dude is a medieval-weapons enthusiast, and is pretty handy with a melee weapon. “As he was running, he smeared blood from here to high heaven and he splattered here and he splattered there and splattered all over there. It was like a deer,” Morgan explained in an interview. [Gawker]