1. Last of Texas Ebola patients transferred; Obama appoints Ebola czar
As tensions over who nurses potentially infected by Texas patient Thomas Eric Duncan increase (one was on an airplane, the other on a cruise ship), President Obama appointed an “Ebola czar” to deal with the growing health crisis. Meanwhile, aid workers continue to do what they can to combat the disease on the front lines in West Africa, as the death toll rises above 4,500. Here’s where you can donate to NGOs that are fighting the good fight. [CNN]

2. HBO and CBS to offer streaming-only service
Finally admitting to the fact that the future is a thing that exists, HBO and CBS (the most critically loved network and the most-watched network, respectively) both announced this week that they’ll offer online subscriptions options for viewers without cable. Unfortunately, early reports indicate that How I Met Your Mother will be just as unfunny when viewed on a laptop screen. [The Atlantic]

3. At least 150 killed in Baghdad attacks
Extremist group ISIS continues its reign of destruction in Iraq, planting four car bombs in Shia neighborhoods of Baghdad that wounded 98 and killed 36. Elsewhere in the city, a suicide bomber claimed more lives when he drove his car into a police checkpoint. [The Guardian]

4. Earth may have entered the Anthropocene age
A group of scientists have convened in Berlin to decide once and for all whether our very old planet has entered a new geological epoch. It’s been the Holocene for the past 12,000 years—a short time span by epoch standards—but members of the Anthropocene Working Group argue that humans have changed the face of the world so drastically that it merits a new name. Sorry about all that deforestation and global warming, Earth. You mad? [USA Today]

5. Jon Stewart and Bill O’Reilly debate white privilege
Epic beatdowns! Jon Stewart is not afraid to deliver them. The Daily Show host had the vitriolic Fox pundit on his show to talk about his new book on Patton, but ditched the subject matter at hand immediately with a challenge: “I want you to admit that there is such a thing as white privilege.” Check out the video below for eight minutes of liberal catharsis. [Washington Post]

 

6. DC Comics announce six new movies, including Wonder Woman
Suffering Sappho! After decades in development hell, DC is finally going to do a Wonder Woman movie for real in 2017, a long-awaited win for female superheroes everywhere. Other superpowered types on the roster this decade: Suicide Squad, Justice League, the Flash, Aquaman and Shazam. [Slash Film]

7. Vatican loosens stance toward gays, divorce, premarital sex
At a gathering called the Synod of Bishops in Rome, top Church types put together a document that, at least in Italian, seems to point at a more welcoming stance toward three groups Catholicism traditionally shuns: homosexuals, divorcees and out-of-wedlock sex-havers. Don’t expect to see rainbow flags hanging above the altar anytime soon, but baby steps are better than nothing. [The Atlantic]

8. Clowns accuse American Horror Story of being clown racists
Clowns! They just can’t catch a break. Clowns of America International is up in arms—er, rubber chickens?—about the latest scary clown to join the pop-culture pantheon, American Horror Story: Freak Show’s murderous Twisty, claiming he’s giving the good people of BigRedShoeslandia a bad name. Meanwhile, legit super-terrifying clowns wielding machetes have been spotted on the streets of Wasco, California. Tears of a clown, etc. [AV Club, ABC News]

9. Neil Patrick Harris to host Oscars
NPH has been chosen to host the next Academy Awards, having previously emceed both the Emmys and the Tonys (and also won some Emmys and Tonys). Someone’s gunning for the hosting EGOT. And of course, being the charming human that he is, Harris broke the news on social media via a funny video. [Variety]

10. Hotel guest arrested for “mopping aggressively”
Yes, you read that right. A disgruntled guest at the Doubletree Hotel in Bristol, Connecticut, reportedly grabbed a mop from an employee and taking over himself, mopping so hard that he mopped over her shoes and even mopped her into a corner. The employee called the cops on the guy, who then shouted threats at police. At least he didn’t hold them at mop-point. [Huffington Post]