1. Doctor in New York City tests positive for Ebola
It was probably only a matter of time. Ebola has officially hit Gotham, after Dr. Craig Spencer, who recently returned from treating patients in Guinea, tested positive for the disease at Bellevue Hospital. Of course, first he went bowling in Williamsburg, took a stroll on the High Line, and rode around on the subway. Odds are very slim that you’ll contract the disease from riding the MTA or bowling, but that hasn’t stopped #ebowla from trending on Twitter. Meanwhile, the infection rate has almost hit 10,000 in West Africa. [New York Times]

2. European Union pledges to cut greenhouse gas output by 40 percent
It’s not all bad news out there. EU leaders met this week in Brussels at a global climate summit, where they agreed that by 2030, Europe would lower greenhouse gas emissions by 40 percent or more. Somewhere up in the Arctic Circle, an ice cap is feeling just a little less melty. [The Guardian]

3. Brad Pitt is deadpan hilarious on Between Two Ferns
How do you follow up a weird interview with Barack Obama? An even weirder interview with Brad Pitt, naturally. Zach Galifianakis brought back his absurdist mini–talk show with a mustachioed Mr. Jolie, and the results include gum-sharing, a Louis C.K. cameo, and the all-important question: “When you and Clooney get dressed up in your tuxes together, do you ever look at each other and go, ‘Aren’t we a couple of dapper Dans!’” [The Daily Beast]

4. Militants kidnap 60 women and girls in Nigeria
According to local reports, armed men went door to door in the towns of Wagga and Gwarta, abducting women and female children from their homes. The assailants are suspected to be from Boko Haram, the extremist group who kidnapped 300 girls from nearby Chibok this past spring. The Nigerian government supposedly reached a truce with Boko Haram last week; so much for that. [The Guardian]

5. “Puppy-sized” spider spotted in Guyana
While wandering through the Guyana rainforest at night (always a good idea), entomologist Piotr Naskrecki heard a rustling sound that he thought was probably a small mammal. NOPE. Turns out it was the world’s largest spider, the aptly named Goliath birdeater, which is furry and the size of a puppy. He stopped to snap a photo, because he has a death wish.  [Live Science]

6. Gunman opens fire at Ottawa war memorial
In an apparent act of terrorism, 32-year-old Michael Zehaf-Bibeau fatally shot a soldier guarding the National War Memorial in the Canadian capital. He then entered the Parliament building and made it pretty far inside before being killed by a ceremonial official, while MPs barricaded themselves inside the caucus room. [Wall Street Journal]

7. Avengers: Age of Ultron trailer leaks; Marvel blames Hydra
The world wasn’t supposed to be privy to the trailer for Joss Whedon’s highly anticipated superhero sequel till Tuesday, but a grainy version found its way to the Internet ahead of schedule. Marvel tweeted “Dammit, Hydra,” before sucking it up and releasing the official trailer. Get pumped for moody Hulk, moody Iron Man, moody Black Widow, and gleefully evil A.I. James Spader. And uh…Hail Hydra! [The Verge]

8. Bull terrier survives crossbow bolt to head
Poor fella. A Staffordshire bull terrier named Ziggy was discovered in the woods outside Peterborough, England, with a 20-inch-long arrow going through his head. Amazingly, the thing missed his brain, eyes and ear canal; following surgery, the dude is doing just fine. (No word yet on the human monster who did that to him in the first place.) [Daily Mail]

9. KFC Korea’s Zinger Double Down King is a sandwich of madness
How’s this for an unholy combination: grilled beef and griddled pork, wedged between two “buns” made of fried chicken. There’s also some kind of white sauce involved. We’re pretty sure your arteries would just seize up altogether after one bite of this chimera. [Grub Street]

10. Engineers want to make your overboard dreams come rue
That’s right—just like Marty McFly in Back to the Future Part II. Husband-and-wife company Arx Pax have launched a Kickstarter campaign for their Hendo Hoverboard, an honest-to-god floating skateboard that uses magnetic fields to glide over a giant metal sheet. Now where did we put our self-lacing sneakers? [Smithsonian]