1. Bear falls through skylight, eats cake
A couple in Juneau, Alaska, was putting the finishing touches on their infant son’s birthday party when a black bear crashed in from the ceiling. They fled the room, and the bear proceeded to, yes, eat all the cupcakes. Because real life is in fact a Yogi cartoon. [CBC]

2. Earth-sized diamond discovered in outer space
Astronomers have uncovered a white dwarf star, situated 900 light years away, that’s so cold and small that it has turned into a mass of crystallized carbon (read: a diamond) that’s about the size of our own planet. How many carats would that be, do you figure? [Extreme Tech]

3. Utah’s same-sex marriage ban declared unconstitutional
On Wednesday, a federal appeals court in Denver struck down the Beehive State’s ban on gay marriage. This isn’t the first state law to be overturned in the wake of last year’s DOMA ruling, but it is the most significant so far. A big loss for Mormon fundamentalism, a big win for human rights. [WSJ]

4. Luis Suárez banned for biting another player at the World Cup
After the Uruguayan soccer player took a chunk out of opponent Giorgio Chiellini’s shoulder during a match, FIFA has barred him from the game for four months. This is soccer, man! Not…vampire soccer! [The Guardian]

5. Bouncy boob castle on display at Museum of Sex
New York City museumgoers can dive into a literal sex carnival at “Funland,” an exhibit from conceptual artists Bompas & Parr. Among the attractions: a moonbounce made of breasts, a climbing wall where the grips are shaped like butts and dongs, and something called G-Spot Grotto. We’re curious how many 13-year-old boys have tried to sneak in so far. [Atlantic]

6. Ikea raises its minimum wage
The Swedish furniture chain is upping its average hourly minimum pay to $10.76 an hour, compared to the paltry federal minimum of $7.25. At least some businesses out there give a crap about their employees (looking at you, Walmart). [Think Progress]

7. Kim Jong Un vows revenge on Seth Rogen
There’s a fine line between satire and an international incident, apparently. Un is calling upcoming Seth Rogen–James Franco comedy The Interview, in which they play journalists attempting to assassinate the North Korean dictator, an “act of war.” He promises a “merciless response” against the U.S. if the movie is released. [Time]

8. British Airlines sued over Granada/Grenada mix-up
An American dentist thought he was buying a ticket to Granada, Spain, but a spelling error led to him being flown to the Caribbean island of Grenada instead, nearly 4,000 miles away from his intended destination. We guess a lawsuit makes sense, but…why not just enjoy the surprise sunshine, buddy? [NBC News]

9. Eli Wallach dies at 98
You can’t say he didn’t live a full life. The venerable character actor, famous for his versatility, has more than 90 movie credits to his name, starting in 1956 up until his last film in 2010. And that isn’t even counting his legendary stage career. Hats off, sir. [New York Times]

10. World’s oldest human poop discovered
Anthropologists have uncovered the remains of 50,000-year-old Neanderthal turds at Spain’s El Salt dig. An analysis of the find has proven that prehistoric man ate a lot of vegetables, in addition to meat. Just think—the dump you take today could end up in the hands of scientists tomorrow. [io9]