Dating is tough—for both sides. But let’s be clear about something: Both sides have to work at it. With that, we present the ten things women should not do on first dates.

1. Don’t assume we like you just because you are a girl
Sure, we asked you out, and that means we probably like you, but don’t act all entitled and special. If we’re on a first date, your untouchable attitude can change things and we could end up not that into you anymore.

Look, you have to try, too. Don’t just assume that because you’ve got the goods that we dig you. There are other fish, and we know it. And here’s the thing: When you act super special, you send the message that this is how you’re always going to be. Relationships—good ones—involve some give and take. So, on this first date, give a little.

2. Don’t show up straight from yoga class
Your fit lifestyle is great. Yoga pants are hot. But don’t show up straight from your class. It signals that you didn’t prioritize this date enough to make the time to get ready.

Plus, you might stink (girls stink sometimes too!).

3. Don’t lie in your online dating profile—about weight, age, height, relationship status, etc.
Exaggerating your stats is forgivable, but straight-up lies are not. If you’ve gained more than 10 pounds since that profile picture, let us know ahead of time. If it’s from a wedding 10 years ago, let us know that, too.

Those little lies add up. They tell us a lot about your character and what’s to come.

And if you’re still in a relationship and didn’t tell us ahead of time? Total dealbreaker.

4. Don’t bring your luggage
Life is hard for everyone—not just you. So when you sit down and unload on us about your cantankerous boss and ex who’s still booty-calling you, we’re looking for an exit. Leave the emotional baggage in the trunk for the first date. If things work out, there will be plenty of time to unload, and we’ll be happy to help.

Look, we’re human, and humans have sex. Stop acting like we’re not on this date to suss out if we want to do it (be it tonight or sometime in the future).

5. Don’t just assume we’re paying. Offer it up and we’ll probably insist we pay.
Chivalry lives. Chances are we’re planning on paying anyway, but that little gesture toward your purse allows us to say, “No, I got this.” It makes us feel like a man and it shows that you’re willing and able to pony up when necessary. Gestures go a long way on a first date.

Plus, it allows you to get a sense of our character. If we insist on paying, you know we’re willing and able. If we let you pay, and that’s not your thing, you’ve just saved yourself weeks, months, or years of annoyance. Everyone wins!

6. Don’t give us the “I’m not that kind of girl” line. And if you say “I’m not having sex with you”, we know that means you’re thinking about it.
Look, we’re human, and humans have sex. Stop acting like we’re not on this date to suss out if we want to do it (be it tonight or sometime in the future).

Flirting is an essential part of dating, including first dates. It allows us to see your sexy side while measuring your limits. After some quality flirting, we have a good idea of what you’re going to be like under the sheets, and without that information, our date is incomplete.

If we ask you home that night, don’t act offended. It just means we like you and want to, uh, see more of you. Take it as a compliment and handle the turndown (if that’s your plan) without assaulting our character or saying that you’re “not that type of girl.” Everyone is “that type”—again, we all do it. A simple “not tonight” is sufficient.  We’ll back off (and if we don’t, you’ve learned something really important about us). If we like you, we’ll try again next time.

7. Don’t harsh on the venue choice. If we go out again, you can pick the next place and that could come back to haunt you.
Chances are we chose a place that puts us in our comfort zone, gives us a slight environmental advantage, and that we thought you might dig since we do. It tells you something about us, and if you say something awful about it, you’re insulting us. We’re sensitive creatures, you know!

If it’s an absolutely horrible place, save that info and remember it before you go out with us again. No need to insult our taste. We’d rather hang with someone who’s down with our vibe, anyway.

If, however, you like us more than the place, simply drop a “Where to next?” That way, you get out of the place while signaling to us that you want to continue.

8. Don’t compare us (out loud) to your ex or that guy you went out with last night
As they say, never discuss exes or politics on a first date. On the politics thing, we think that’s fair territory since those issues will come up later on down the line, and it’s always best to vent those things up front.

As for your exes, though: No. Not only is it a huge downer, it also signals that you’re not really ready to date. Even worse, if you bring up tons of recent dates with different people, it could signal to us that you’re fickle with dating. In short, nothing good will come of this, even if you think you’re complimenting us via positive comparison. Our minds will be on the other dude, not on the compliment.

9. Don’t wait to tell us you have kids
Kids are cool. We like kids. We’d love to know if you have them before you show up, though. Not doing so is deceptive and dishonest.

10. Don’t get wasted (unless we are too, then it’s game on!)
Being drunk can be fun, and it can be a great romantic lubricant. But a first date is meant for introduction and exploration. A couple drinks are great, but if you start acting like a sorority girl on Spring Break, we’re going to file you away as just that. Class it up a little. There’s plenty of time for drunken romps in the future (assuming the first date works out).