While our bodies may seem like mystical containers to most us – that never seem to behave in traceable patterns or that always seem to betray what our minds think our bodies will do – the truth here is that our conscious minds can conquer our crumbling physiques. And lift them back to safety. Think of the general rule: What you put in is going to affect what you get out of it. Apply this to the process of creating your own bodily patterns and read below for some long lost, simple remedies to get you started.


1. ACAI – all the rage, this little berry from the Amazonian regions in Brazil is said to detox, reboot and purify your body. The University of Florida, some of the highest rollers in terms of Acai Berry research, claim Acai berries "to be one of the richest sources of antioxidants and phytonutrients available." 

2. WATER & VINEGAR – each morning and night, drop a couple tablespoons of apple cider vinegar in a coup of water, stir and bear the rest. After the first time it’s less odd. Megan Fox does this daily deed, commenting on her occasional healthy cleanses as "just water and raw apple cider vinegar, and it just cleans out your system entirely." In retort, celled dietitian Lucy Jones says, "As attractive as it sounds, there is no magic pill, lotion or potion for a quick fix to weight loss."  But, considering we see Megan Fox’s body… I think it’s pretty obvious who to believe.

3. GREEN DRINK – the drink of assorted vegetables, this bottle is perched on the shelf at your local supermarket as something odd looking and great tasting. It often contains more vegetables than you could force yourself to consume in a couple sittings and nutrients for days.

4. CHINESE TEA ‘BLUE PEOPLE’ – priced at $180 a pound, this tea is known to boost energy and improve circulation, which is the key to increased ability and sex drive. Uncle Gee and his son Ming are two tea-obsessed experts and travelers, handpicking health teas throughout China, and insist that "It carries a very strong sweet after taste, very aromatic and mellow. Good for energy, wakeup, focus, concentration." Order it online here

5. PROTEIN SHAKE – unfortunately, we’re not talking peanut butter, milk, ice cream and a lonely scoop of protein powder. We’re talking fresh or frozen fruit, green protein, fruictein or whey protein powder, low sugar juice and/or fat free milk and, if necessary, yogurt. This will boost your energy and encourage your bloodstream to work toward easy digestion.

6. POMEGRANATE – Naturopathic Doctor Penny Kendall-Reed, a specialist in weight loss and author of a national best seller, The Naturopathic Diet’ and ‘The New Naturopathic Diet," declares that "in several human studies, pomegranate juice has been found to reduce cardiac risk factors that lead to arteriosclerosis and cardiovascular disease." Careful of too frequently consuming the stuff, considering its sugar content can become considerable when too often sucked up. One small cup in the morning or night will do.

7. WATER – I know this sounds annoying, because you’ve been hearing it from Mom all your life. But, as is true sometimes, she’s right. One tall glass of water in the morning, taken in before any breakfast, coffee or buttered toast, is the best thing you can do to wake up your metabolism. Then, keep the water coming all day.


8. MAGNESIUM – M.D Michael Sachachter claims that "In the USA, magnesium supplementation is dramatically under utilized by conventional physicians and is more important in patient therapy than most physicians realize. There are over 200 published clinical studies documenting the need for magnesium." By simply taking a daily dosage on a consistent basis, your health is boosted and your circulation cleared – meaning more room for better bodily urges.

9. VITAMIN C – seemingly overrated, vitamin C is actually quite underrated, considering it does more than just help cure a common cold. Health expert Heather Reese advises that "it also plays an important role in making skin, scar tissue, tendons, ligaments and blood vessels as well as contributes to the maintenance of cartilage, bones and teeth." Moreover, it boosts your energy to all-time high and raises endurance (wink. wink). Comprehensive vitamin C list: broccoli, green peppers, strawberries, sweet patties, white patties, tomatoes, cantaloupe, brussels sprouts, cauliflower, cabbage, cranberries, mango, papaya, raspberries, watermelon, red peppers and the tiny plastic bottles of pre-ready pills.


10. VIRGIN COCONUT OIL – sold in a jar similar to the peanut-butter kind, coconut oil can replace your commonly used butter and/or vegetable oil usually slopped into the frying pan. Not only does it taste delicious, it is also known, according to coconut oil expert Mary G Enid, to "provide a source of antimicrobial lipid for individuals with compromised immune systems and is a nonpromoting fat with respect to chemical carcinogenesis." Translation – cook with it, dude. It’s good for you.

11. SALMON – Luckily, eating healthy doesn’t have to mean eating in and/or poorly.  Fancy, gourmet restaurants almost always carry delicious creations including salmon, which happens to be one of the best kinds of fish for the blood stream, immune system, heart activity and metabolism. Packed with omegas, it will revitalize your bod while smoothing out your digestion.

12. PUMPKIN SEEDSDr. Ritamarie Loscalzo claims that depleted sex lives are caused by "anemia, depression, alcohol, certain medications, hormone imbalances, in particular low testosterone, thyroid and estrogen, stress and adrenal exhaustion and relationship problems." While we know its hard to manage some of these things, we encourage cutting down on cigarette and alcohol intake as much as possible. Good old Ritamarie also offers a good old remedy for such diminished sexual desire: "Pumpkin Seeds are also good for boosting sex drive because they’re high in zinc, which is important in testosterone production."

Get up and move around, man 

13. EXERCISE – Boring as it is, it’s completely true and absolutely necessary. Moving your body externally, even if its simply making a daily effort to climb the monkey bars, hit the beach, run to work, ride a bike, moves your body internally. And in response to helping things move around in there, your body will thank you by giving you back your feelings of youth which, we all know, were never filled with any lack of desire for fun, high energy experience and sex, sex, sex.