Back in the day, men were men and women were… wives and secretaries mostly. These days, more women than men graduate from college, Michelle Bachmann campaigns for president spouting utter nonsense, and The Playboy Club gets canned after just three episodes. No wonder William Bennett says men are falling behind. Hell, we can’t even make perfectly good sexist ads anymore. For a reminder how Mad Men used to do it, check out these relics.



Ask Amanda Knox.


If you need a disinfectant to make your lady parts smell appealing, maybe it’s time to talk to a gyno.



We’re not really sure why that secretary is wearing a nurse dress, but we’re not complaining.


Anonymous Shoe Company

Because who doesn’t want a beautiful woman lying on the floor staring at his shoes?


We couldn’t agree more.


Drummond Sweaters

Hey, they said it, not us.


Del Monte

Nonsense! Her feeble, feminine arms cannot possibly separate a cap from a ketchup bottle.


Were vaginas just extra rank back then or something?


Chase & Sanborn

Two things we know about the 1950s: women were terrible at making coffee, and it was socially acceptable to spank them for it.



We can think of a few other things “wives are for.”


Because women are bad at driving. Haven’t you ever heard any stand-up comedy?



Well then, what are the fuck are you paying her for? (What’s really amazing? This ad’s only like 10 years old.)



We’re not sure that Schlitz counts as “beer,” but other than that, great ad!