You hear a lot about the first date. What to wear, how to speak, where to take her, who to blame for being late. But what happens after that first few hours? What happens when she doesn’t jump from dinner to your doorstep, but only a follow-up date. And, again, after the second time around, won’t come home. The third time is the charm, you think. But this is precisely where most men falter. So, step it up and get moving, gentlemen.
Most often, men might think that designing an elaborate evening for the third date assures them an after hours haven, but forget that the farther from home your date is dragged, the less easy it is to make the journey back to the bedroom. If you’ve planned something that requires a lot of driving and considerable travel, this is fine, but make sure you end the night with desert and drinks at an intimate setting near your neighborhood. This makes the transition back to your place much more probable.
A little trick to assure her eventual arrival at your place is to meet up there before the date begins then take one care to wherever the evening carries you. When she walks in and briefly tours the place, mention something you’d like to show her (i.e. book, movie, music, etc) that you don’t have time to pour over in the moment. This way, as desert and drinks begins dying down, you can recall this piece of bait and entice her back your way.
#3 Setting Intention
As ridiculous as this sounds, there is a principle often used in prolific business endeavors that is perfectly compatible with getting laid the third time around. When professionals in high-level stress environments approach a potential deal, they approach each meeting with a solidly set intention. This means, identifying your aim and committing to it no matter how perilous the waters seem. “The concept of managing by setting goals isn’t new,” writes Robert M. Melancon in his book, The Secrets of Executive Search, “Every manager is responsible for providing direction and leadership in the accomplishment of a specific goal or objective.” Without being specific, you’ll be sloppy. And when you’re sloppy, you’re sure not sexy.
#4 Recall The First Date
Think back to your first couple of encounters and rack your brain for what this beautiful woman told you she cared about. At one point or another, she must have told you explicitly things she loves to do and, for the third date, it’s your responsibility to dig up opportunities for doing them. If she told you she used to dance as a girl, take her salsa dancing. If she referenced loving music, search out concert tickets. Women are enchanted by men who seem to actually listen. Thus, reminding her of your attentiveness with an activity directly related to something she mentioned, will hit her right where it’s real.
#5 Get Comfortable Getting Close
Choosing a third date activity that requires some physical contact is a clever way to make your date comfortable being in close proximity. Even if it’s something as simple and prudent as choosing a restaurant where you cook your own food at a personal grill at your table, this invites a socialization and skin contact you would not otherwise encounter in a more buttoned up venue. For a more daring option (only appropriate for the right female), suggest something semi-athletic like ice skating. This allots for many opportunities to get accustomed to touch, putting her initial hesitation over bodily contact to rest.
#6 Reference The Future
Whether or not you have any solid intention of seeing this woman seriously, mentioning a future moment wherein the two of you do something together is essential to making her feel willing to get felt up. This communicates to her that you are legitimately interested in spending time, even after sex. Simply say, “Oh you know what I’ve always wanted to do is check out this (insert blank event relevant to your lives). We should totally do that sometime.” This kind of comment will communicate to your date that you are not just schmoozing for sex (even if… you are).
#7 Attention To Detail
It’s much too obvious simply to say that, when aiming to get a lady back home, it’s ideal to look your best. More than merely choosing your best ensemble and splashing a spray of cologne, it’s necessary to zero in on those minute details women are infamous for noticing. For example, if you have a particularly unruly facial hair situation (i.e. unibrow, nasal overflow, etc), take the time to tweeze and trim. While you’re at it, go the distance (ahem, cough cough) and do both you and your date a favor. This may seem extraneous, but in truth is essential to winning a woman’s excitement.
#8 Small Gifts Go A Long Way
While there’s no need to spend excessive money on a new lady, there are little ways in which to make her feel specially tended to beyond dinner and date nights. Even if it’s simply picking a few flowers on the walk from your car to her front door and handing them over with a cheeky grin, it’s small moments like this that immediately endear you to women. It sets you apart from the regular pattern of male pick ups who pay the bill, but can’t make her blush.
#9 Tell Her She’s Different
Women love to hear from men that they are unlike anyone else you have met. So, while carrying on with conversation, casually interject this comment somewhere between her telling a story and laughing, and she’ll nearly faint with flattery. Don’t feel pressure to be awkwardly romantic about it. Simply say, “There should be more women like you,” or “I know this sounds cheesy, but honestly, most women are such a bummer. You’re so easy to get along with.” Anything in this arena of phrasing will be perfect. In this situation low key is key.
#10 Impress Her With Interesting Conversation
Women frequently taken on dates hear a general rotation of the same information again and again. They hear stories about friends, what men do for a living, where they have lived and all other such unspecific banter. To switch it up, come to the table with a conversational offering. Whether this is referencing something interesting you heard on the radio or an obscure movie you watched once long ago doesn’t matter. It only matters that you condition your brain to be more compelling than the average male on a date (which should… honestly not be that hard).
#11 Seem Spontaneous
While driving home from the date, take an impromptu turn up a canyon and tell her you’re going to catch a quick look at a beautiful view of the city. If this kind of location isn’t available to you, think of a spot best suited to some brief stargazing. Women love to feel whisked away, even if it’s not to a hotel in Paris. Creating this feeling of romantic adventure right before you drop them off will put them in a place of craving further affection.
#12 Watch A Scary Movie
As high school as it sounds, scary movies and popcorn nights are almost always a sure path to upping the physical ante. As the night ends, flash your eyes at her mischievously and ask if she likes scary movies. Something like, “Does it sound crazy that all I really wanna do right now is go home, make a bowl of popcorn and watch a ridiculous horror movie?” Even if she says no, she hates them, tease and convince her to give it a shot. “C’mon! Don’t be chicken. I’ll protect you.” Again, this may sound cliche, but women find men who tastefully push their boundaries adorably irresistible. Plus, whether they admit it or not, movie nights with men are all girls really want from life anyway.
#13 Break Out The Baby Photos
It’s true, women are suckers for babies. Moreover, they’re suckers for baby photos of men they’ve just met, because it makes them feel as though the man is vulnerable to her. So, if you’re brave enough to deal with the several seconds of humiliation in exchange for a night of satiation, slip an endearing baby photo of you into your wallet and, while paying the bill, pretend to stumble upon it, saying, “Oh my god, I can’t believe this is still in here. Do you want to see something ridiculous? As a joke my friend swapped out my ID once with a baby photo of me and it never made it out of my wallet. I can’t believe I’m about to show you this.” She’ll be giddy with the chance to flirtatiously tease you and feel an immediate personal connection other men would never be willing to offer. So, yes, it may seem absurd. But some of us like to think there is no measure too absurd to ensure a satisfying evening.