Imagine a world wherein, instead of standing and screaming in front of the television screen, your girlfriend excitedly sits beside you on the sofa, controller in her hand, smile on her face. Too good to be true? No longer, folks. For in this limitless modern age of mass production, a few treasures have come to your rescue. And they have come in the form of fantastically designed, fantasy-like, high resolution realities called video games – she won’t hate.
#1 Katamari Damacy
A game whose leading promotional line includes these words: "Cookies and kebabs, lawn mowers and lamp posts, synchronized swimmers and sumo wrestlers, bulldozers and windmills, giraffes and brontosauruses, Ferris wheels and cruise ships beware!" With an undeniably interesting color palette resembling that of a bizarre Japanese fashion ensemble, Katamari Damacy is a game centered around the concept of a prince whose mission it is to rebuild all constellations, stars and Moon, which he pursues by rolling a magical, adhesive ball (i.e. a katamari) around the world. Somehow, it’s absurd as it is fun – which is a lot.
Believe it or not, chicks actually love racing games, (even if just temporarily), and this baby right here is a classic. Competing with up to three other cars on various courses, Burnout allots for partnership playing. This way, when she starts getting annoyed that you are (inevitably) winning, you won’t be the only opposing player to blame.
#3 Left 4 Dead
Nothing says quality time with your lady like zombies on the loose. Even if she’s not the sort of girl to appreciate smashing gnarley-faced monsters with inflamed automobiles, you’re certainly the sort of man to appreciate a worrisome woman burying her face in your shoulder. Win – win, here.
Organized in a series of microgames usually less than five seconds long, Ninetendo’s WarioWare games offer a manageably sized window of time wherein you might train your girlfriend to get accustomed to the thrill of virtual realities. For the girl who feels overwhelmed by long, convoluted plot lines and extraneous buttons, WarioWare presents a plethora of random electronic fun.
Guns are fun. Period. Well. Ok. Fake guns are fun. And for a girl too sweet to use them for morally debatable endeavors like those found in the best of gangster games, there’s Crackdown. Here, she can implement violence for the morally justifiable endeavor of fighting crime, while still getting in on what’s going down with the dudes.
#6 The Sims
A total classic, if your girlfriend and her friends aren’t already obsessed with The Sims, it’s certainly coming to that. Building in detail a virtual world involving intriguing plot lines and room for personal manipulation, even the shyest and most book-bound females are seduced by the brilliance of The Sims. For those interested in spending marathon-length nights in, this game does not fail at keeping a couple enraptured.
#7 Street Fighter
Kicking it old school, this legendary fighting game has upgraded its character list while maintaing its beloved simplicity. Wacky outfits, ridiculous bloodshed and hilarious sound effects, this game will appeal to your girlfriend’s secret desire to enact her badass fantasies of beating you up.
#8 Monster Lab
For the girl disinclined to shoot, race, destroy, murder, pillage and procreate, there’s Monster Lab, the game that is rated E10 for anyone upwards of 10 years old (which means that if your girlfriend can’t handle this game, you shouldn’t legally be dating her…) Described as "Pokemon meets Tim Burton," , this game centers around the concept of building a 150-peice monster with a team of mad scientists. Allowing the game to complicate to a point of intrigue for girls savvy with science textbooks, different genres of scientists allot for investigations of different ideas whether mechanical, biological or alchemical.
#9 World of Warcraft
For the girl inclined to shoot, race, destroy, murder, pillage and procreate, look no further. Often referred to by its religiously devoted, 11.5 million monthly players as WoW, this game is certainly for the weary kind of woman. If however, your lady is laid back enough to not necessarily play but merely enjoy the mind-blowing 3D and highly detailed virtualization, you may get away with showing her the ropes. Hopefully, after the first hour of general confusion, her admiration for the impressive, interactive reality will draw her toward a controller of her own.
#10 RollerCoaster Tycoon
When violence is out of the question entirely, RollerCoaster Tycoon is the answer. A game that simulates the process of theme park management, the RollerCoaster Tycoon series has no real objective other than to have fun while custom building roller coasters, strategizing costs and covering a map in theme park madness.
#11 Mario Kart
Hopefully there isn’t one girlfriend in this world incapable of appreciating the glory of Mario Kart. If she doesn’t like traditional racing games, there’s banana peels, adorable characters, mystery boxes, dancing palm trees and plenty more. Each level grows in excitement, not to mention color palette, and so somehow still makes the likelihood of absolutely sucking absolutely enjoyable. Whether played with other couples on a double date night or simply with your sweetheart, Mario will revolutionize your idea of romance.
Arriving at the obvious option, the Wii game consul has an endless abundance of virtual resources. Whether a physical game of tennis or yoga or a series of minigames as bizarre as painting houses in a limited amount of time, the Wii provides enough options so that your girlfriend is left without any excuse or opportunity to escape. To loosen up the lady, try doing intervals of both physical and mini-games, so as to keep you jumping up and down, distracted and involved. Tell her it’s easier than hitting the gym and just as great a workout and she’ll be swinging a virtual golf club in seconds flat.
#13 Guitar Hero
Though there are many who may now be scoffing at the claim that Guitar Hero is a true video game, it doesn’t seem right to finish out the list without it’s presence – considering it has brought a startling amount of females to the video game screen with its recent fame. Whether using one of the latest specialized versions, like The Beatles brand, which utilizes a full band set, or simply passing the single guitar between the two of you, you’ll be surprised by how quickly she converts to this new classic. For some reason, women can’t get enough. And when women can’t get enough, you ought to be getting more of it.