After reading my last article, you’re probably thinking: Alright, I don’t want to be the Friday night bar crawler. So what do I do? How do I stop this activity that has never yielded results and start becoming that man a woman wants?
(Editor’s note: Our friends at The Frisky tackled a similar topic from the female side in a recent post called 5 Tips For Meeting Guys Offline. It’s worth checking out, as some of the tips, including making eye contact, smiling and finding a situational excuse to start a conversation—If you’re at the grocery store, it’s “Have you ever tried this kind of hummus? I need to know because I take my snacks very seriously.”—can work just as well for dudes as they do for chicks. OK, back to the story.)
Ah, now that’s the key. Thank you for listening. It’s all about creating attraction. When you don’t create attraction, you become “that guy.” The guy who’s indecisive, who’s pushing alcohol, who’s got the wolf pack mentality. You look like you haven’t eaten in weeks and no woman is attracted to that.
How do you create attraction? It’s all about getting her interested before you approach. That’s why I prefer the non-bar scene for meeting women. You have better opportunities to set that up.
So how do you create attraction? It’s all about getting her interested before you approach, so that when you do approach, it doesn’t really matter what you say. She’s already intrigued by how you moved, walked and talked before you came over. And that’s why I prefer the non-bar scene for meeting women. You have better opportunities to set that up.
1. Cozy Restaurant
Now, we’re talking about a little restaurant, one that has a small bar but not much of a bar scene. The kind of bar that’s just big enough for people to stand there for a few moments while they’re waiting for their table.
This type of place attracts more women because it’s what I call their “safe haven.” They’re protected. It’s almost like a sanctuary. Because men go where the masses go, women go where they can feel protected from the guys that are going to harass them on a Friday night.
So I like to show up to one of these places alone. I’ll get a bar stool and order dinner at the bar. That way, all the packs of women coming in will have to stand near me as they’re waiting for their table. Now keep in mind, it’s only a short window of opportunity here, but it’s a great window.
You sit down at the far end of the bar, toward the door, so you can see everybody coming in and talk to people. As they walk close to you, just look at them and say, “Wow, I have never eaten here, but this food is amazing. I’m so glad I stumbled upon this place on the way home from work…”
2. Organic Food Market
Think Whole Foods. You’re going to get the after-workout crowd, the woman that doesn’t want to go out and pollute her body with alcohol but wants to have a good, healthy meal.
Not only that, but on a Friday night, she’s going to meander through the aisles very slowly because she’s in no rush. It’s Saturday tomorrow.
So this is when you can use the power of observation. Walking alone with your little basket, you can see what she’s doing and comment on it.
“Hey, those are great noodles…”
“Wow, that’s a cool cake…”
“Yum, those melons look awesome!” (The ones in her basket, dude.)
Have enthusiasm in your voice and a smile. Own your words and look directly in her eyes. She’s going to think: “Hey, I didn’t expect to meet a guy tonight. This guy is kind of cute…” See how the conversation goes. She’s going to give you more of an opportunity here than you would ever get in a bar.
3. Yoga Class
This one’s going to take more balls. Take a yoga class on a Friday night. As you may know, yoga classes are full of women.
Take a 6 or 6:30 p.m. class. These are the women that are basically going to do yoga, go home, take a bubble bath, and do absolutely nothing that night. They are there to relax, unwind, and chill out.
Get to class a few minutes early. Wait in line. Stand next to a woman you like, and just go, “You know, I’ve never taken this class here. I’ve heard it’s amazing. Have you practiced with this instructor before?” (Use that term “practice”; it’s what yogis use to refer to the act of doing yoga.)
Talk to her for a few minutes. Don’t come on to her, just talk to her. Listen to her. Be friendly. When you go into the class, position yourself in the very back so when it’s time to leave, you can get out first, linger a bit, and then ask her what she thought of it. And then you can poke fun at yourself and just go, “Man, I’ve got to tell you, when they held that Downward Dog for five minutes, I couldn’t wait to get into the meditative pose at the end of class…”
It’s really that simple, and it can be that relaxed. And if you play it right and carry on a great conversation, you can grab a cup of tea or something to eat afterwards, something that a yoga girl would like to do. Bonus: yoga girls always have great bodies, they’re hot, and they’re also not afraid to do things on their own. All good things.
So now you’ve got three great, bar-free options that will explode your life with new hot women. Try one tonight, and let me how things work out.
David Wygant is an internationally-renowned dating and relationship coach, author and speaker. His most recent book is Naked!: How to Find the Perfect Partner by Revealing Your True Self from Hay House. To find out more about David and all of his dating and relationship-building products, visit him on his website at davidwygant.com.