Forget all that crap about lying being bad. OK, most lying is bad. But on some occasions, one could argue that lying can not only be a good thing, it can also be beneficial to the party being lied to. Sometimes a lie can be the difference between someone being happy, or having their world crumble right before their eyes. And sometimes, just sometimes, when somebody is begging you to tell them the truth, they really want what you have to say to be parallel to what they want to hear. If it isn’t, a well placed lie will sound just as nice. Here are four good reasons to lie to your girlfriend.
“Do I look fat in this dress?” You’d better lie if you know what’s good for you. The fact of the matter is, she knows she looks fat in the damn dress, or she wouldn’t be asking. She’s only asking if she looks fat in the dress because she’s fishing to see if, despite the fact that she’s carrying a few extra pounds, you still consider her attractive. Now chances are, if you love the girl, you’re going to love her no matter what she weighs, but she still wants to think you’re attracted to her. So even if she does look round in a particular dress, you’d better make sure you let her know she’s still your personal Athena. The easiest way to do that is to say, “No baby, not at all. Of course you don’t look fat.”
Your mother doesn’t like her. If you’re in a serious relationship with someone, it’s going to be important to her that your mother likes her. Here’s the thing: mothers are only human. It may take a while for your mom to warm up to your love interest, but by no means do you tell your woman that your mom doesn’t like her. Keep it to yourself, as well as any smart remarks your mom makes about her. And if she asks, you’d better tell your lady that your mom loves her like the daughter she never had. Over time, your mom will eventually accept the girl, but don’t give her any hang ups early on.
Ex-girlfriend stuff. As far as your current girlfriend is concerned, she should think she’s the best at everything. Be it sex, cooking, dancing, belching up beer, your girlfriend had better believe that she’s the best you’ve ever had. Even if it isn’t the truth, she’d better think it, or you run the risk of her not doing those things for you anymore. Do you want to hear this kind of stuff? “Just ask Jessica to do it,since she’s so much better than me at it.” No. So even if it ain’t true, your girl better believe she’s better than all the rest.
Other women. If you’re a cheater, you’ll get caught eventually… jerk. This isn’t for the cheaters. This is for the nice guys that get attention from other women. If you get approached often, don’t tell your girlfriend about it. There’s no point. Don’t tell her how flattered you were, or how hot the chick was. You’re not doing anything but starting a fire. If she catches some hot bird flapping her wings around you, just act like it was nothing to you. If your girlfriend asks, it meant nothing. Kill the issue before it becomes one. Save yourself the trouble.