Last week Playboy announced it would be holding an open casting call for an updated ‘Women Of Wall Street’ pictorial. While submissions are still being accepted, we’ve done some contemplating and soul-searching over who should appear as a representative of the Street within Playboy’s glossy pages.
Although I will concede that the majority of applicants will be young, easily photoshopped babes who have only worked in low-ranking capacities at big Wall Street firms, I am still holding out some hope that Playboy’s photo editor, Gary Cole, will make good on his promise to pursue some ‘senior executives’ as well.
And so that’s where we come in. Here are our top 4 picks of real, live, Wall Street women who have what it takes to make a good showing on the pages of Playboy:
1.) Erin Callan
Erin Callan is the 41-year-old blonde bombshell with legs that refuse to quit. She found herself at the center of controversy as the Chief Financial Officer at Lehman Brothers back in March of 2008 while deflecting claims that Lehman would suffer a collapse similar to Bear Stearns. Callan was fired by her boss, the now embattled Lehman CEO Dick Fuld, shortly after that incident. But it looks like she got the last laugh when Lehman eventually filed for a very embarrassing and high-profile bankruptcy just a few weeks ago. Callan has since accepted a job as the Head of Global Hedge Fund Business and a Managing Director at Credit Suisse.
Erin should clearly be the top pursuant for the Playboy pictorial because at one time she stood as a focal point in the middle of what would become the Wall Street collapse and financial crisis. Luckily she got out of that Lehman disaster when she did. Oh and did I mention she looks amazing in her Wall Street Journal profile photos? Just imagine what the tender and professional hands of Playboy’s finest could do.
Photo Shoot Suggestion: Erin scantily clad on a bear skin rug laughing maniacally while watching Dick Fuld’s Capitol Hill testimony.
44-year-old Sallie Krawcheck has been called the most powerful woman on Wall Street. Her $3.5 million annual salary (not including extra perks and options) only begins to explain the power position that she held at Citigroup. Before becoming the firm’s Chief Financial Officer, Sallie was the Chairman and CEO of Smith Barney, a division of Citi that comprises one of the largest research and wealth management services in the world.
Krawcheck left Citi late last month amid a falling out with Citigroup CEO Vikram Pandit after his decision to alter her position at the company. Recent news has not been good for Citi. They got beat to the deal of a lifetime when Wells Fargo scooped up Wachovia bank right from under them. It’s clear that Sallie left at the right time.
Sallie reminds us of a much hotter version of the Mom from Arrested Development. For someone with a job as stressful as the CFO of the world’s largest bank, Sallie looks great and would be a classy, sexy addition to the Women Of Wall Street issue.
Photo Shoot Suggestion: Under a ‘We Built This CITI On Hot Assets’ titlebar, Sallie, dressed in fishnet stockings, tears apart a photo of Vikram Pandit’s WSJ caricature.
Although Amy Woods Brinkley is a little older than our other suggestions (She’s 51), I think she fits into the ‘Silver Fox’-cougar classification, plus she hasn’t been fired yet! And that’s always an impressive factoid to be able to say on your Wall Street resume.
Brinkley has one of those ‘hot model’ names. I’m not sure why…maybe it just reminds me of Christie Brinkley, maybe it’s the suggestive nature of ‘Woods’, or maybe Amy is just a hot name in general, but either way she has a lot to offer. Think of it this way – at a time when banks are falling like dominoes (WaMu, Wachovia), Bank of America has stood strong and has even lined up a major acquisition of Merrill Lynch.
Brinkley has served as the Chief Risk Officer for Bank of America, N.A. Look at the problems having a crappy risk officer has caused in the past. Do you think Bear Stearns, Lehman, and AIG would be where they are today if they had better Chief Risk Officers? Maybe someone would have had the foresight to know that subprime exposure wasn’t a great addition to your portfolio.
Brinkley graduated Phi Beta Kappa from UNC-Chapel Hill, and although I know full well that is an academic honors institution, I’m going to pretend it’s the sorority with the hottest girls on campus. Nice! In addition, Brinkley also serves as a member of the Board of Advisors for the North Carolina Dance Theatre. So you know she can shake it!
Photo Shoot Suggestion: While using a Bank of America ATM (which reveals a $10 million balance), Brinkley turns her head back to the camera to show off her low cut sorority sweater from college.
4.) Meredith Whitney
This one is an easy sell. I have a feeling Playboy’s talent scouts are on their way over to Meredith’s house sometime soon, if they haven’t already. Meredith Whitney, a managing director and top analyst with Oppenheimer & Co., has been getting a lot of very positive press for being one of the most critical (and accurate) predictors of the big Wall Street collapse and recession. She’s known as ‘the dominatrix’ who has been laying a serious spanking on the world’s largest bank.
Back in October of 2007, Whitney made the gutsy call of blasting Citigroup and she turned out to be right. She basically went from being one of many unknown analysts, to one of the most heavily sought-after contrarians on the Street.
And it’s almost undeniable that the 38-year-old Whitney is a total babe. She’s also kind of a publicity hound. She’s frequently served as an on-air commenter on Fox Business and she is married to professional wrestler John Bradshaw Layfield (JBL), who happens to own a sex-potion energy drink company called Mamajuana Energy (we’re not joking).
She’s also been on the cover of Fortune magazine and was named #2 on Forbes’ list of 2007’s best analysts and stock pickers. She knows her way around the magazine circuit, so maybe she’ll take a little detour over to Playboy’s offices?
Photo Shoot Suggestion: Meredith in full dominatrix gear is shown body-slamming her wrestler husband while reading that day’s Wall Street Journal.
Who do you think should bare all during this bear market? Is there anyone we left off the list? Let us know in the comments section.