Getting with a chick at a wedding as a crasher is one thing. Hooking up with a bridesmaid takes it to the next level. While you may have a number of tricks up your sleeve, here are four ways to hook up with a bridesmaid that every wedding crasher should know. First of all, don’t fret. With the leaves changing color and Oktoberfest beers hitting the bars you might be worried that wedding season is coming to an end. News flash, wedding season never ends. Plus given the current economy chances are some couples are waiting for the more expensive summer weddings to pass before they say “I do.”
Figure out which bridesmaids are single. This might seem obvious but if you are a wedding crasher trying to hook up with a bridesmaid you need to be fully prepared. Without knowing who to go after, your chances of hooking up with a bridesmaid go down, significantly. While there are obvious signs that a chick is taken, like an engagement ring or a dude who constantly has his hand on her back and appears that he might actually be fusing to her, there are also obvious signs when a bridesmaid is single. If you had X-Ray vision we would say look for the tramp stamp. Since you don’t, look for the bridesmaid who looks a little “too” good. The bridesmaid who wouldn’t put that much effort into looking that way for a boyfriend but would for a single bachelor she’s never had the opportunity to meet—you.
Put extra work into her. We know, going the extra mile can be exhausting. That’s what all of the other girls at the wedding are for. But why settle for a five when you can get a nine? Pick one girl and stick with her. If you have your feelers over every bridesmaid in the party they will sense that and blacklist you. Act genuinely interested in what she has to say. Make eye contact and agree with her. If she likes ponies, you like ponies. While these things can be hard to do in real life, remember that this isn’t real life. This is a wedding, and you’re about to hook up with the hottest bridesmaid there.
Have a wingman, or better yet, a wingwoman. Since you’re crashing the wedding you don’t have other people to vouch for your credibility. You need someone there to back you up. Before the bridesmaid is even going to toy with the thought of hooking up with you she needs to feel confident that you aren’t some creep. While wingmen are great, wingwomen are better. Girls are less trusting of men in general. If you’ve got a girl who’s a friend and up for a good time then have her be your partner in crime. Side note: a friend is not someone you sleep with. Your wingwoman is good for many things from confirming stories that you may or may not be making up about yourself to meeting the girl first and even doing a pretend introduction. There is almost nothing a wingwoman can’t do.
Always have booze on hand. This means don’t count on the wedding to supply all of the booze. While your good friends wouldn’t get married without a full bar and five kegs, you don’t know these people. Make sure there is booze in your car, in your pants and in your coat pocket. These people may not have the kind of alcohol situation that is helpful to a crasher. The kind of crutch that bridesmaids may need to let go of their inhibitions varies and you want to make sure they are able to relax, and take their jealousy of the bride and loneliness out on you, in their hotel room.