super mario brothers luigi and the princess.jpg

Yes it’s true, video games can make you better at sex. This is a well kept secret that shouldn’t be shared. All the jocks and the steroid freaks think that big muscles make you good in bed. Wrong. No matter how many pounds you can press or how many miles you can run, video games do much more at making you better at sex than any sport. There’s no woman alive, girlfriend or otherwise, who thinks video games can make you better in bed either. Here are a few examples of why they’re wrong.

boob video game controller t shirt.jpg

Hand-eye coordination. Playing these next-gen games require complex button mashing while keeping your eyes glued to the screen. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to understand the in-bed applications for developing these skills. You’ll be precise at getting your hands to those sensitive areas of her body. No meat head in the gym will be able to fondle his lover as well as a video game nerd. Most controllers come with ten or more buttons nowadays. In order to play the game correctly, you have to be able to manipulate those buttons in sequence. In order to get your girl hot, there’s certain complex sequences of stimulation you’ll need to provide her. So, who’s more prepared, the video game guy, or the brute with a dumbbell?

Patience. If you’ve ever played a role playing game, then you know just how long and involved they can be. They take a lot of time and effort to get through. Video games in general require a lot of patience and thorough exploration to conquer. Similarly, women appreciate a lot of patience when you explore them. And it’s always better to be thorough. Nothing can prepare you for the patience needed to deal with a young lady in the bedroom better than video games. Except, of course, for a Charles Dickens novel.

Understanding audio visual signs. Here’s another tip you’ve probably never thought of. Video games are a whirlwind of colors, sounds and rumbles (with the vibrating controllers). With the exception of taste, and maybe smell, all of your senses are being stimulated at some level. These stimuli tell you what you need to do next in the game. Now, how is this any different from a woman, except of course, tasting, which is a major part of the bedroom encounter? What you have here are two very different scenarios that require very similar understanding. Unless you have a girl that is going to literally give you instructions in the bedroom, it’s up to you to read her signs. Her goose bumps, for example, let you know you’ve given her the chills. A shaking leg or vibrating torso can be an indicator of an orgasm. Moans, screams, scratches and biting all have their very own meanings. It’s up to you to decipher those meanings in order to satisfy her, just as it’s up to you to make sense of the stimuli in a video game to progress through the levels.

gamer guy kissing a girl.jpg

Respect. Real video game nerds, the hardcore gamers, treat their video games like they are their women. The games are put on a pedestal. Nothing is allowed to harm the systems or the accompanying controllers and games. A guy that takes that much care in an object will show even more care to a women he’s got in the bedroom. He’ll cater to her needs and make sure she’s placed on that pedestal—only to be used in the right way, respectfully.