First, let me tell you why. Despite your earnest efforts, it’s likely that some man before you licked his lips and said something along the lines of, “Mmm, God bless that sweet ass.” And so you may be left to bear the brunt. Or, you are that man… I digress.
Here’s the truth: There’s a fine line between complimenting a woman and catcalling a woman. Very simply, complimenting something about another person in an effort to boost their vibes is one thing; complimenting something about another person in an effort to provoke them to take the bait is an entirely other thing.
If you approach her the right way, you won’t need the bait. Repeat: You’ll be the bait. Here are five compliments that she might actually appreciate—dramatically increasing the odds of a warm conversation instead of a cold shoulder.
When you admire her intelligence, it simultaneously alerts her that you may have the potential to be a viable partner.
1. Compliment her character.
Humans of all genitalia take pride in their personalities—we all work hard to build ours our whole lives. Therefore, it means a lot more to a woman that you recognize her optimism or confidence or generosity than it does to recognize her legs.
2. Acknowledge a style choice over a physical attribute.
Of course it’s nice to hear you have nice eyes, but it’s nicer to hear that you’re wearing a color that goes well with your eyes. Why? Because having nice eyes is not something we can control. It’s not a choice we’ve made, but rather something we’ve been given. Acknowledging something we’ve done to enhance that is a far more personal compliment.
3. Admit to her wits.
Everyone’s a comedian—except they’re not. Everyone just likes to think they’re funny, so there’s an inevitable sense of fulfillment when we make other people laugh. This doesn’t mean having to tell her she’s hilarious; it may suffice to offer a chuckle here and there (even if it’s forced).
4. Admire her intelligence.
Sapiosexuality means finding intelligence the most sexually attractive feature. Many women would identify as sapiosexual and are oftentimes looking for the same level of brainpower, curiosity and respect for “real talk.” When you admire her intelligence, it simultaneously alerts her that you may have the potential to be a viable partner.
5. Flatter her family and friends.
In a lot of cases, if her family or friends don’t approve of you, she won’t approve of you. If you can secure their good sides, you’re doing well. Plus, she’ll appreciate that you respect her roots because, after all, that’s a compliment to her, too, and she’s probably proud of the company she keeps.