Halloween is a precarious time of year for reasons beyond the eyes watching you in the dark.

It’s precarious because many guys don’t know what to wear. The hyper-sexualized construction worker with greased-up abs at the party belongs in his own toolbox. That zombie from The Walking Dead is great unless you actually want to smooch someone later. And if you’re any of these cliché costumes, you run the high risk of lame-labeling yourself. But if you don’t dress up at all, well, that’s no fun, is it?

But worry not, gents. Here are five last-minute costumes women love. And trust me, as a woman who has successfully pulled off everything from Spongebob’s Patrick Star to Katy Perry, I know what I’m doing…

The-Most-Interesting-Man-in-the-World
1. The Most Interesting Man in the World
All you’ll need:
-a black suit
-a mustache and beard
-white hairspray
-a case of Dos Equis

Why it works: Women like interesting conversation. You’re the most interesting man at the party.

How to use it: Be prepared to hold riveting conversation on Blue Bell Ice Cream deliverables and human DNA found in hot dogs. And offer her a beer, of course.

left-shark2. Left Shark
All you’ll need:
-a shark suit 

Why it works: He made headlines performing at the Katy Perry Super Bowl halftime show alongside straightedge Right Shark who actually followed the choreography, and now has 20,000 Twitter followers. Women love a fun, footloose ladykiller.

How to use it: Dance the night away, regardless of how cringe-worthy your moves are. She’ll dance with you.

naked-and-afraid3. Naked and Afraid Cast
All you’ll need:
-a beige body suit (or just, um, nothing…)
-artificial leaves to glue onto your body
-black makeup to dirty your skin
-a convincing look of fear

Why it works: The survival show’s contestants, who are stranded to bare all in dangerous and desolate areas of the world, are simultaneously protective, instinctive, fit and proud—what women want.

How to use it: One of you is already “naked,” so you’re already halfway there.

four4. Dauntless
All you’ll need:
-a black t-shirt
-black leather pants
-black boots
-black jacket (not entirely necessary)
-toy gun

Why it works: Theo James, who plays Four in Divergent and Insurgent is the instructor of Dauntless-transfer initiates and the love interest of Tris Prior, played by Shailene Woodley. He’s in the action and gets the girl.

How to use it: Four is on a mission to save his community. Likewise, you’re on a mission to save the party. Once you do so, with the help of this Halloween playlist, you’ll, too, get the girl. We can’t promise her legs will be as long as Shailene’s, but ya never know!

sheldon-cooper5. The Big Bang Theory’s Sheldon Cooper
All you’ll need:
-any nerdy t-shirt
-any color long-sleeved shirt to go underneath
-a pair of thrift store brown pants
-brown shoes
-laptop (preferably in a red case)

Why it works: Sheldon Cooper, played by actor Jim Parsons, is the senior theoretical physicist at Caltech and former child prodigy with a genius level IQ. Sure, he’s mildly social inept, but smart is always sexy.

How to use it: Compile your best scientific fun facts—like the study that says dudes with dad bods have the most sex—and offer your own hypothesis for testing.