Father’s Day is coming up this Sunday and you definitely don’t have a gift yet. Admit it. I bet you didn’t even know it was Flag day on Saturday too. Plus, you most definitely didn’t buy a new flag yet (American ones are very popular this year).
But CNN Money won’t leave you high and dry on Dad’s Day, they just made a list of 5 ‘last-minute’ Father’s Day ‘deals’. When I first saw it, I thought ‘Oh sweet!’, but apparently ‘last minute deals’ over at CNN also means spending well over $100 for each gift. Are they serious? What the hell happened to cheap ties and Chia Pets?
1.) Zachary Prell shirt: $165
Custom tailoring may be the ultimate clothing luxury, but all that pinning can cost a pretty penny. This year opt for the next best thing: an expertly tailored shirt by former i-banker Zachary Prell.
Prell spun his experience on Wall Street into the smart fitting business of shirts. And what he came up with looks as good under a three-piece suit as it does with a pair of slacks – thanks to a slim fit, contrasting stripe down the side, and spread collar that works opened or closed.
Order now and get a leather carrying case ($30 value) for free, while supplies last. (zacharyprell.com)
WSF: A leather carrying case for a Wall Street i-banker-inspired shirt? Do they know who our Dads are? If this is a shirt your Dad would wear, he probably already owns it. Have they invented shirts that make it physically impossible to spill a whole plate of spaghetti on them yet? Now that’s a gift.
2.) The Art of Shaving kit: $100
Rather than splurge on an old-fashioned hot-towel shave at a pricey men’s spa, give the do-it-yourselfer the tools he needs for a perfect shave from home.
The Art of Shaving’s full size kit with pre-shave oil, shaving cream, badger hair brush and after-shave balm promises optimal results (read: no ingrown hairs or razor burn).
Add a Power Shaving Set to your order by June 11th and receive a complementary upgrade to overnight delivery. Now that’s smooth. (theartofshaving.com)
I think a lot more Dad’s would be interested in The Art Of Cutting Yourself While Shaving And Putting Bits Of Toilet Paper On Your Face. Wait, it comes with a “badger hair brush”? – is that made out of badger hair or is it designed to brush your badger hair?
3.) Krups BeerTender: $299
A trip to Amsterdam to attend the grand reopening of the Heineken brewery on the Stadhouderskade may be a bit beyond the budget. But you don’t even have to leave the house to get the freshest brew this side of the Atlantic thanks to the new BeerTender, from Krups.
The sleek countertop machine fits Heineken’s compact 5-liter draught kegs and is engineered to ensure that each serving pours a perfect pub-style draft. Beer is kept fresh for up to 30 days while a volume indicator shows how much is left in the keg so you never have to worry about tapping out.
And with free shipping, your wallet won’t get tapped out either. (williams-sonoma.com)
Now this is friggin awesome. I will agree this is something almost every Dad would want, but that cutesy pun about free shipping won’t dissuade me from thinking this is well out of the Father’s Day price range. Maybe I can just get one for my place and invite Dad over to watch the game?
4.) Tivoli Model One radio: $119
Give the gift of state-of-the-art sound without the cost of a high-end stereo. The Tivoli Model One delivers superb sound quality and better FM reception than traditional radios and unlike like Dad’s record collection, this oldie-but-goodie will never go out of style.
Even though it looks retro, the technologically advanced Tivoli is compatible with iPods and other MP3 players.
Sound too good to be true? Enter the code DAD20 at checkout and take 20% off. (conranusa.com)
Although I’m sure there are plenty of Dads in love with the local ‘Classic Rock’ station this is not the most appropriate way they should be tuning in. I’m thinking more along the lines of a 1980s-style JVC boombox with a coat-hanger antenna and 2 gallons of paint accidentally splattered on it.
5.) A day of driving: $1,495
You could go from zero to happy Father’s Day in under 4 seconds by putting dad on the list for a brand new 2009 Lamborghini Gallardo LP560-4, which starts at $203,000.
But for a fraction of the price, he could get the thrill of driving a Lambo for one unforgettable day. Spots are still available to join World Class Driving this weekend to sample some time behind the wheel of a Lamborghini Superleggera, Ferrari F430 and Corvette Callaway.
For about $1,500, drivers can drive five such supercars along the wide open country roads of French Lick, Indiana. As an extra gift, dads get crystal car keepsakes and a picture with their favorite car, which might just replace the family portrait he got last year. (worldclassdriving.com)
I love how these CNN Money writers think that the gift is a lot more affordable and plausible after they make some ridiculous assertion that ‘it’s the next best thing to do after buying a Lambo for your Dad’. But a $1,500 day of driving in French Lick? First off, my Dad isn’t Larry Bird. Secondly, what the hell am I supposed to follow this gift up with next year?
Am I just a cheap bastard or do you agree with me? Are these ridiculously super fancy presents or do I just assume every Dad shares a lot of similar traits with Homer Simpson and ‘According to Jim’? – the comments section beckons.
CNN Money: Last Minute Father’s Day Deals, June 11, 2008