Listen up, guys. Women are not pretzels. As much as you’d like us to throw our legs behind our heads, it ain’t happening. So it’s time to set the record straight.
Sure, a lot of women are into your wild sex positions. And, with the right chemistry, anything can be great. But most of the time, women are not nearly as flexible as your fantasies would suggest. So, most of the time, we’re not into all these crazy ideas you saw in porn.
Here are five sex positions women (generally) hate—and how to make them more fun for her.
1. 69: We’re, well, preoccupied. It’s too difficult to focus on receiving pleasure when we’re also concentrated on giving it. For women, reaching climax has a lot to do with our mental states, so if we’re busy wondering whether or not you’re enjoying it, we’ll never get there.
How to fix it: You’re better off taking turns. Women want that connection in which their partner can look up and make eye contact. You’ll both get the most out of oral if you give and receive separately.
2. Missionary: It doesn’t hit the right spots. If you’re on the smaller side, it’s also not doing you any favors. Although it’s never a bad place to start, I suggest changing it up sooner rather than later.
How to fix it: Accentuate your length by positioning your torso upright. You can also bend her legs to tilt her hips up, which allows your shaft to remain in constant contact with her clitoris. She’ll reach the “O” a lot faster.
3. Reverse cowgirl: Not everything fits right when you’re in reverse—in other words, you can break your junk. Plus, it’s difficult to climax. Not to mention, the view of your feet isn’t exactly stimulating.
How to fix it: If you’re looking for a position with a similar view, switch to doggy. To keep it intimate, lean forward and kiss her neck, run your hands through her hair and don’t forget about clitoral stimulation.
4. Up against the wall: Unless you’re an Olympic athlete, it’s a lot of work with little reward. Although movies make it seem super hot and romantic, it’s anything but when you’re trying to lift her up and simultaneously thrust.
How to fix it: Stand up, have her bend forward and place her hands on a stable mirror, then gently enter her from behind. You’ll still be standing, but you’ll both be getting views from all angles.
5. Cowgirl: Although we’ve established that reverse cowgirl is pretty awful, cowgirl isn’t much better. Depending on how big you are, that sh*t hurts. Not to mention, for women carrying serious sandbags, being on top means cradling them or fearing that they might fly off at any given time. So while you think it’s the greatest thing you’ve ever seen, she’s hoping and praying she survives without getting injured.
How to fix it: OK, I might have been a bit dramatic with this one, but if she’s got smaller breasts and you’re not packing too much downstairs, go wild.