1. A bear surfed on top of a garbage truck in New Mexico.
What are ya doing up there, buddy? A garbage man drove five miles on roadways in Los Alamos, New Mexico, before he heard a squeal overhead and realized that there was a bear on top of his truck (which immediately made us think of Teen Wolf, of course). The animal had accidentally been loaded in along with a dumpster he was rummaging through, and apparently just hung on for dear life. Around 30 forest service workers showed up to snap photos and figure out a solution—which wound up being: Back the truck up against a tree and let the bear crawl up it. Keep on trucking, big guy.
2. Netflix accidentally ran a nature documentary with Aziz Ansari subtitles.
How did we even find out the important news before Reddit? According to poster benmieri84, Netflix accidentally superimposed the subtitles of Aziz Ansari’s Live at Madison Square Garden stand-up special onto an episode the BBC’s Planet Earth, the David Attenborough–narrated nature documentary program. The results were predictably amazing: “Ladies, let’s get out of this club! Dudes here are busted!” over footage of a fleeing elk herd, “Dude, where are you? Biggie and Tupac faked their deaths” over an image of a bird crawling out of a hole in the ground. We have a feeling even Sir David would be amused.
3. Philly put the kibosh on turning dumpsters into swimming pools.
What is summer for if not finding super weird (and possibly unhygienic) ways to beat the heat? Folks throwing a block party on Cedar Street in Philadelphia had the brilliant/terrible idea to rent a dumpster, fill it with fire hydrant water, and use it as a swimming pool. Instragram photos of the urban Jacuzzi make it look pretty damn fun, but the city wasn’t having it. Philadelphia’s Department of Licenses and Inspections issued a strongly worded statement about the dangers of tapping a fire hydrant and swimming in a trash receptacle, and told the neighborhood it wouldn’t issue any more block party permits. “We are not screwing around, Philly,” a representative said. Eesh. Fun Police over here.
4. Rare flower corpses are blooming everywhere, and it’s probably a sign of the end times.
How infrequently do corpse flowers—giant, penis-looking plants with a smell like rotting flesh—bloom? According to one study, only 157 unfurled between 1889 and 2008. So it’s more than a little creepy that seven of these stinkers have opened in the U.S. in the last year alone, most recently at the New York Botanical Garden in the Bronx. So what gives? Botanists are genuinely mystified, though they have a few theories. But we dunno. Ten-foot-high phallic death plants wafting their stench all over America? We’re guessing this is the plant world’s protest against a Trump presidency. That, or the first harbinger of the apocalypse.
5. A start-up company will land a robot on the moon in 2017.
It’s been 43 years since NASA launched a mission to the moon, manned or otherwise. That’s a long time for mankind to neglect a visit to our nearest extraterrestrial neighbor. In grand capitalist tradition, it turns out it takes a for-profit company to get us back into the lunar atmosphere. This week, the FAA approved a contract from Florida start-up Moon Express to send a robotic lander to the moon next year. If the project is successful, the company will win the long-coveted Google Lunar X Prize: a $20 million reward for the first private enterprise to touch down on the regolith. Let’s just hope this doesn’t signal the beginning of our dear satellite getting strip-mined into oblivion by profiteers. That can’t be good for the tides.