1. Nevada politician seeks to legalize weed for pets
Dogs need to get baked, too. Nevada state senator Tick Segerblom is introducing a bill that would make it legal for vets to prescribe medical marijuana to ailing dogs and other furballs. Cannabis has been shown to alleviate pain and even prolong the lives of sick and dying pets. This may be the best idea we’ve ever heard—if only because a stoned pug would be the cutest thing on the planet. [Huffington Post]

2. Starbucks plays the race card
You know when something sounds nice in theory but should never, ever be put into practice? Starbucks’s new Race Together initiative is pretty much the poster child for this phenomenon. Baristas at 12,000 locations around the country are being institutionally encouraged to talk about race relations with their customers, with the quixotic idea that this could produce some kind of sea change in society. Pundits are saying that this is the absurdest possible way to try to fix what’s broken in America’s racial conversation. We can’t even string a sentence together before our morning caffeine fix, let alone discuss the state of discrimination. [NPR]

3. German pig is a puzzle-solving genius
Just to make you feel terrible about that slab of bacon you’re about to fry up, we present the adorable case of Moritz the pig: This domesticated swine from Berlin was caught on video putting together a wooden, color-coded puzzle, a feat that he accomplishes in less than a minute. Dang. To borrow a phrase from Charlotte’s Web, that is SOME PIG. [Daily Mail]

4. Send your nemesis a literal bag of dicks
And yes, they will in fact be able to eat them. In the vein of Ship Your Enemies Glitter, a new company has materialized on the Web called Dicks by Mail. The simple premise? For $15 plus shipping, you can anonymously send a bag of gummy penises to anyone you feel like messing with. But if you really hate someone, wouldn’t you want to send them dicks made out of something less delicious than candy? Vegemite dicks? Booger dicks? We’re just spitballing here. [Pixable]

5. Stolen iPhone sparks international bromance
BuzzFeed editor Matt Stopera was amazed to discover he’d become a national celebrity in China after he posted some mysterious photo of a Chinese stranger that had materialized on his phone. It’s an epic, meandering tale that begins with Stopera’s iPhone getting stolen from a Manhattan bar and ends with our hero traveling to China to meet the photo subject, who became known across the Chinese twitterverse as Brother Orange. Accidental iCloud buddies are the new pen pal. [Buzzfeed]