So your Apple laptop has broken, you dropped your iPhone again, or you’re looking to spend a lot of money on a new computer: basically you end up at the Apple store that’s packed with tourists, yuppies and a bunch of dopes who are wearing the same shirt. However, there is something else here catching your attention other than the futuristic computer products and slight discount on the Harmon Kardon speakers. A girl, a beautiful girl, is also in the Apple store trying to figure out something to buy. You like Apple, and she likes Apple-there must be chemistry. Here are a few things to say so you don’t make a fool of yourself, and you can walk out of the Apple store with a great new product and, hopefully, her number.


“Let’s see how the Instant Messenger works on these computers.” This is a playful, funny opening line which will encourage both of you to log into IM on different Apple computers and chat, via internet, while in a computer store. There are a lot of metaphorical things happening there, and evidently girls like that stuff. Plus, you’ll be instantly given her screen name.


“Can I help you? I left my Apple shirt at home because it looks ridiculous.” Another funny line that is relatively aggressive, but in a smooth way. She’s left to decide whether you really left your shirt at home and are trying to help her (which means she’s an idiot, and that can be a good thing), or if you are smart and gutsy enough to come up with a line like that (which is a good thing on all fronts).


“Want to meet me at a real bar after the Genius Bar?” A little on the nose, but also a funny pick-up line that lets her know exactly what you are interested in. Of course, it only works in the Apple Store and should be used after you’ve struck up conversation while waiting in an epic Genius Bar line.


“What’s your favorite song? Let’s play it.” Tell her this over by the speaker display so you can find out about her, pull up her favorite song and play it, instantly making her happy. Then tell her your favorite song. Then talk. If you can’t work it from there, you’re pretty helpless.


“I think there’s something wrong with my touch screen. Can you help me?” This will be you asking the damsel for help in some way, and if she’s even somewhat interested, she will lend a hand, or in this case, a finger. Take it from there.