1. Captain America: Civil War trailer has everyone in it, plus Spider-Man.
Shit is going dooown with the Avengers in the latest trailer for Captain America: Civil War, which sees Captain America butting heads (sometimes literally) with his old pal Iron Man over the fate of superhero-kind. And while plenty about the new teaser gets our blood pumping (cool gloves, Tony!), the main thing that’s got the nerd Internet squealing with glee is the eleventh-hour appearance of a certain man with arachnid abilities. Though probably we should call him Spider-Boy, considering actual child Tom Holland is donning the webbed suit. Third time’s a charm…?

2. West Virginia lawmakers legalized raw milk, then all got sick from raw milk.
We don’t wanna say we told you so. No, wait. We totally want to say that. Some markedly dumb lawmakers in West Virginia recently passed a bill that allows of the sale of raw milk, a.k.a. unpasteurized milk that’s swarming with bacteria. Naturally, they toasted the decision with a round of raw milk. And guess what happened: A bunch of them became very ill. But the only thing more powerful than bacteria is denial. State rep Pat McGeehan told reporters, “I think it’s probably just some sort of bad stomach virus.” Keep telling yourself that, honey. We’ll be over here in the 21st century.


3. The streets of Paris could be lit by bioluminescent bacteria.
The future is almost here, and it’s seapunk. A French start-up called Glowee is working on technology that would harness the power of Aliivibrio fischeri, a glow-in-the-dark bacteria found in certain bioluminescent ocean creatures. If you’ve ever been on a beach in the middle of the night (which we hope you have—it’s awesome) you might have seen its ilk lighting up the surf. Glowee hopes to bring its living lights to the streets of the City of Lights itself, marketing to shops that aren’t allowed to illuminate their windows electrically due to light pollution restrictions. Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “natural light.”


4. A penguin swims 5,000 miles every year to reunite with his human savior.
So shines a good deed in a naughty world. Five years ago, Brazilian fisherman Joao Pereira de Souza found a South American Magellanic penguin washed up on a beach near Rio de Janeiro, covered in oil and on the verge of death. Joao took him home and nursed him back to health, and the little guy didn’t forget it. The penguin, dubbed Dindim, reappears on the beach every few months to see his hero again, spending months at a time hanging with Joao before swimming back to his breeding ground 5,000 miles away. If you’re not tearing up a little right now, maybe check to make sure you’re not a robot.


5. An L.A. skyscraper is installing a glass slide 1,000 above the ground.
Folks with a fear of heights should steer clear of downtown Los Angeles’s U.S. Bank Tower, which, as part of massive renovations, is planning on adding something called the Skyslide to the side of the building. And yes, it is what it says on the tin: a transparent, glass-enclosed slide that goes between the 70th and 69th floors of the 72-story structure, which you’ll be able to ride starting in June for $8. You probably won’t fall to your death. Probably.