1. Tributes are pouring in for the late, great Prince.
As years go, 2016 has been a wretched one for great musicians—particularly magical alien sex gods. First we lost Bowie, and now we’ve been forced to say goodbye to Prince, who was found dead yesterday at only 57. The world mourned in a way that would have done the late, great artist proud: by dancing, singing and turning absolutely everything purple. In his hometown of Minneapolis, grieving fans danced all night long outside First Avenue, the nightclub where Purple Rain was filmed. On Broadway, the casts of Hamilton and The Color Purple rounded out the evening’s performances with tributes: The Hamilton cast danced raucously to “Let’s Go Crazy,” and Jennifer Hudson and Cynthia Erivo sang a moving cover of “Purple Rain.” If you’re still wallowing, check out Vulture’s roundup of the craziest stories about Prince. We hope wherever you are, sir, you can always see the sun day or night.
2. Harriet Tubman will oust Andrew Jackson from the $20 bill.
Very occasionally in America, justice is a thing that happens. It did this week, at least, with the U.S. Treasury’s announcement that abolitionist and all-around badass Harriet Tubman will replace Andrew Jackson’s ugly Old Hickory mug on the front of the $20 bill. A woman who freed 750 slaves shoving aside the dude who was responsible for the Trail of Tears? We will 100 percent take it. He’ll still be on the back, but whatever. Treasury founder and rediscovered folk hero Alexander Hamilton will—probably thanks to a certain musical with his name on it—rightly get to keep his spot on the $10, though he was the one who was originally slated to be replaced. What’s more, tenners are getting women’s suffrage leaders on the back, and fivers will see the inclusion of Civil Rights greats. This is maybe the one good thing that has ever happened in the history of American capitalism.
3. The people have spoken: Tyrion Lannister for president!
The nation is entirely burned out on the endless presidential race (so many debates…), but there is one piece of television we can’t wait for: the return of Game of Thrones this Sunday. Westeros may be the only place with even more political maneuvering and power-hungry monsters than the U.S. (Hell, we’d take Ramsay Bolton over Trump.) So perhaps it’s not surprising that when SurveyMonkey released a poll asking who the Internet want as their next president, Casterly Rock’s own Tyrion Lannister tied for the top spot with Bernie Sanders (who would surely be a Stark). Hillary Clinton and Daenerys Targaryen were a distant third and fourth, and the only person who fared worse than the three Republicans was Cersei “I Kill for Fun” Lannister. The White House, the Red Keep… We’d be thrilled to see the Imp in either. He’s definitely the smartest of the lot, real or fictional.
4. A rabbi declared that marijuana is kosher for Passover.
Get excited, Jewish stoners. The venerable Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky of Israel has declared that weed is kosher for Passover…if it’s used for medical purposes. (But we all know “medical purposes” can mean pretty much whatever.) Cannabis Israel released a video of Kanievsky being shown pot leaves by another rabbi who says that “the smell is medicinal.” The two then blessed the ganja. We’re not sure why you’d want to give yourself the munchies while you’re fasting, but what the hell.
5. The world’s oldest message in a bottle was discovered.
Retired German postal worker Marianne Winkler was on vacation in the North Frisian Islands when she discovered a bottle with a missive inside it floating in the North Sea. Turns out it’s an 108-year-old message in a bottle left by George Parker Bidder, who in the early 20th century tossed 1,000 bottles into the sea in order to research ocean currents. This particular one went into the waves in 1906 off the coast of Plymouth, England. The message inside, the oldest ever found, promises a shilling to whoever returns it to the Marine Biological Association. Fortunately it’s still around, even though Bidder isn’t, and Winkler got her shilling. Hope she doesn’t spend it all in one place.