1. Take a virtual ride on the world’s fastest drop roller coaster.
We admit it—just watching this made us a little ill. Meet Valravn, a giant-ass roller coaster opening this summer at sprawling Ohio amusement park Cedar Point. It’s apparently the fastest, tallest and longest drop roller coaster in the history of coasters, hitting speeds of 75mph and heights of 223 feet. And did we mention the 90-degree drops? If you want to whet your appetite—or if you’re scared shitless to ride this thing but want an approximation—check out this POV video of the thing in action (complete with screaming).

Screen Shot 2016-05-13 at 5.24.02 PM2. Majestic, mysterious mounds in Colombian tropics are actually worm poop.
It’s either a letdown or hilarious, depending on your point of view. Scientists have long scratched their heads over the origins of surales, six-foot-high mounds that dot the wetlands of Colombia. Aliens? Ancient burial sites? Not so much. Earthworm expert and biologist Anne Zangerlé headed into the area to see for herself, and theorizes that the hillocks are actually the work of giant Andiorrhinus earthworms shitting. Still majestic, but far less alluring.


3. KFC is releasing edible nail polish that tastes like chicken.
We guess it’s no more or less real than the “chicken” that they sell behind the counter at KFC, but also, yuck. The fast food chain is releasing two, er, flavors of nail polish in Hong Kong, “Original” and “Hot & Spicy.” The idea is that the polish, which uses KFC spices, is lickable for hungry customers who want to eat their own fingernails, we guess? “To use, consumers simply apply and dry like regular nail polish, and then lick—again and again and again,” KFC spokesmen said in a disgusting statement. Barf. One thing we do kinda like? The beautifully beatboxy promo video above.


4. The Stone Roses have dropped their first new track since 1995.
For those who miss the good old days of ’90s Britrock (and who doesn’t? That shit is amazing), the Manchester guitar heroes are back with a brand-new song. Called “All for One,” the track sounds just like their old stuff—which is pretty great. The band reformed in 2011 after a 15-year hiatus, but hadn’t made any new music until now. Here’s hoping for more soon.

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5. A raccoon triggered a massive power outage.
What is it with animals messing with the power grid lately? First it was a weasel shutting down the Higgs-Boson, and now this: An enterprising raccoon (a.k.a. trash panda) made its way into a power substation in Seattle on Wednesday, and raccoon’d its way all over the equipment. The result? 40,000 powerless homes across the Greater Seattle area, and one very dead raccoon. Rest in peace, little monster.