1. Mars’ terrain was shaped by massive, ancient tsunamis.
A new study out of Cornell University posits that in the distant past, Mars was marked by frigid oceans and seas. About 3.4 billion years ago, the Red Planet was rocked by two massive meteorites a few million years apart. The result? Tsunamis as wide as 400,000 miles that scattered boulders all over the planet’s surface and forever altered the terrain. Not quite the beach vacation we were dreaming of.

2. A guy made Captain America’s shield in real life.
A guy who calls himself “The Hacksmith” used what must have been considerable resources to create a functioning version of Captain America’s shield. You know, the one that Cap throws like a boomerang, stops bullets with and whatnot? The Hacksmith’s shield might not be made of Vibranium, but the power of electromagnetism means that it can lift more than 3,000 pounds, break through concrete and fly to a ready arm. Check out the video above—it’s pretty nuts.


3. A couple’s wedding guests were 1,000 cats.
Canadian couple Louise Veronneau and Dominic Husson are such lovers of felines, they held their wedding ceremony at California’s Cat House on the Kings, the biggest house cat sanctuary in America. The furry guys were the only wedding guests and, as cats do, pretty much had the run of the place. “We wanted to make it close to our values,” said Veronneau of the ceremony. Those values apparently being: cats.

4. Chefs whipped up a 1.15-mile-long pizza in Naples.
Naples, Italy, already home to the world’s best pizza, decided to go in for the longest one too. Two hundred and fifty pizza slingers assembled to construct a pie that stretched along the waterfront for more than a mile and used 4,400 pounds of mozzarella and 66 pounds of basil. And this thing was legit: Baked margherita-style in wood-burning stoves and all rolled by hand. After the Guinness folks measured that sucker out, the townsfolk got to chow down. Yes, there was enough for seconds.

5. Louis C.K. won Jeopardy! in the Louie-est fashion.
It was Power Players Week on Jeopardy!, and Louis C.K. emerged victorious, trouncing reporters from CNN and The Washington Post. The comedian-actor-filmmaker won $50,000 for the Fistula Foundation, which provides postnatal care for women in developing countries. In classic Louie style, C.K. looked mildly embarrassed the entire time—but that didn’t stop him from knocking out Daily Doubles left and right. Apparently he’s been into Jeopardy! since childhood, so he was pretty much made for this moment. Not too shabby, sir.