1. A seagull fell into a vat of curry and turned neon orange.
It’s hard out there for a scavenger. A Welsh seagull whom the internet has dubbed “Gullfrazie” caught the eye of the world this week when he tripped into a “waste vat” of chicken tikka masala that was left open outside a factory. The result? He turned bright orange, and was presumably very put out. Fortunately, factory employees saved the little dude and he was de-masala’d at a nearby wildlife hospital. But maybe the best part of this story is that he made everyone at the vet really, really hungry. “The thing that shocked us the most was the smell. He smelled amazing, he really smelled good,” said one nurse. Control yourself, people. It was waste curry.


2. Jeff Goldblum is not the same person as Jeff Goldblum, per Jeff Goldblum.
Independence Day: Resurgence may be the sequel to a 20-year-old blockbuster that no one asked for, but it’s not all nonsense. Case in point: A video that 20th Century Fox released today of Jeff Goldblum having a conversation with David Levinson, a.k.a. the alien-stomping scientist he plays in the Independence Day franchise. The intro claims that it’s to debunk the conspiracy theory that the two men are the same person. Watch as the two doubt their resemblance, marvel that they both own the same pair of glasses and stutter endearingly at each other—presumably through the power of whatever technology Orphan Black uses. We are 100 percent here for this level of meta.

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3. You can now watch every Key & Peele sketch ever for free.
Good luck getting anything at all done this weekend. Today, Comedy Central launched a site that features every bit ever featured on the dearly departed Key & Peele, from Obama and his anger translator to the valets freaking out about “Liam Neesons.” There’s even a dictionary, in case you need a refresher on just what exactly an “Armenian conveyor belt is.” To that we say: Nooice.

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4. A Supergirl stuntwoman annihilated American Ninja Warrior’s new course.
Who says there aren’t IRL superheroes? Meet Jessie Graff, a kickass stuntwoman whose recent work includes turns on Supergirl, Agents of SHIELD, Transformers and Iron Man 2. But she donned a modified Wonder Woman outfit to try her hand (and glutes, and abs, and calves) at American Ninja Warrior‘s new obstacle course, becoming the first woman to complete it. And not only did she finish it, she made it look easy. After watching this, we’re pretty sure Graff might actually HAVE super powers.

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5. A retired jumbo jet has found a second life as a reef.
Plenty of planes have sunk into the ocean by accident, but we don’t know how many have purposely been plopped down on the ocean floor before. But Turkey is changing the game by submerging an out-of-commission Airbus A300 off the coast of Kuşadası, in the hopes that it will become the country’s largest reef. After being thoroughly cleaned, it was sunk full fathom five (well, 75 feet deep) by officials in hopes that it will be populated by marine flora and fauna—and also, naturally, tourists. We’d take the plunge.