1. Godzilla granted Japanese citizenship
Shine on, you crazy monster. Everyone’s favorite atomic kaiju finally got his due this week, when the monster was named a citizen of Japan in Tokyo, the very city he’s leveled so many times. Sure, he’s fictional, and sure, it’s a bid for tourism. But we can’t help but get a little choked up at the idea that a lonely nuclear destruction metaphor from the sea finally has somewhere to belong. Godzilla’s residency papers are being handed out in Tokyo this week. [The Guardian]

2. Stephen Colbert resurfaces in new Late Show spot, has fun with shaving
Ever since he bid a fond farewell to The Colbert Report last December, Stephen Colbert has been flying under the radar—and rocking a full Hemingway beard. But he was back in front of the camera this week, eating a hot dog, shooting the shit, then shaving off his “Colbeard” onto said hot dog. Though we’ll miss his faux-O’Reilly persona from his Comedy Central days, we can definitely get behind this amiable host-to-be Colbert. Too bad he won’t be gracing the cover of Homeless Sea Captain Monthly anymore, though. How long till September again? [Gawker]

3. Pluto’s moon Nix rotates like crazy drunk
Tiny though it may be, erstwhile planet Pluto has five moons rotating around it—all of them deeply bizarre and named for aspects of the Ancient Greek underworld. A pair of scientists has used Hubble images to create an animation of what the rotation of Nix, a moon less than 25 miles around, looks like. And it is nuts. The egg-shaped satellite rotates on its axis so erratically that if you were standing on the surface, you could watch the sun rise in the east and set in the north on the same day. We’ll find out even more about Nix and all of its weird brethren when the New Horizons spacecraft nears Pluto in July. In the meantime, check out a vid of the moon’s stumbling orbit below—and try not to get dizzy. [NY Times]

4. Denver Broncos levy fart tax, Von Miller is gassiest player
There are plenty of weird player fines associated with professional football, but this one really cuts the cheese. While speaking with Denver Post writer Nicki Jhabvala, Broncos outside linebacker Von Miller revealed the fact that the team fines players for farting in meetings, and that he himself has been charged the most. Miller insists it’s a matter of well being: “I keep trying to tell them it’s not healthy if I just sit there and hold it in. Nobody in the world does that. I just do it more than the average person.” [Washington Post]

5. Montana man pulled over for driving with loose bees
Yes, bees. Thousands of them. The Montana Highway Patrol stopped a man driving erratically outside of Missoula and discovered that he was  accompanied by five hives’ worth of Russian honeybees flying free inside his car. The cops called an apiarist for info and found that while what the guy was doing was extremely stupid, it didn’t actually violate any laws. We imagine his trip went something like that one Nicolas Cage scene from The Wicker Man[UPI]