1. Kanye announces his presidential bid at the VMAs.
The MTV Video Music Awards ceremony has become a lightning rod for bombast and ridiculousness, but leave it to Kanye “Imma Let You Finish” West to raise the speech by declaring his intention to run for president in the 2020 election. Talk about a mic drop.

2. Dachshund gets loose at a baseball game and experiences true bliss.
What we wouldn’t give to experience even a fraction of this dog’s unbridled joy. This week at a game for minor league team the El Paso Chihuahuas, the team’s annual Weiner Dog Race went awry when one of the competitors escaped. The lil’ guy proceeded to frolic around the bases, tongue flying in the wind, eluding capture by players and dog wranglers alike for a solid two minutes. The Chihuahuas lost the game that night 4-1, but I think we can agree that we all won. Check out the video below.

3. A yearlong practice for the Mars mission begins in Hawaii.
A manned expedition to Mars is still a long way away, but it’s never too early to start practicing. The Space Exploration Analog and Simulation program has dispatched a team of six to a deserted spot in Hawaii, where they’ll spend 365 days living inside a cramped solar-powered dome, having no face-to-face contact with the outside world and can only venture outside in full astronaut gear. The longest simulation of its kind to date, the mission’s goal is to see how humans would react mentally and emotionally to the kind of isolation we’d have to deal with on a real Red Planet colony. How is no one turning this into a reality show?

4. A pregnant woman plans her dolphin-assisted birth.
Someone never quite got past their Lisa Frank phase. Dorina Rosin, who heads up a spiritual center with her husband in Hawaii (lot of weird stuff happening there this week), has plans to give birth in the Pacific Ocean with a wild dolphin for a midwife, surrounded by further dolphins. It sounds like a lovely acid-fueled hallucination, but animal rights advocates and pretty much everyone else agrees that this is a terrible, terrible idea. Plus, how would a dolphin even… You know what? We really don’t need to know.

5. A toilet museum will open in Japan.
The Japanese fascination with things scatological has been well-documented in emoji form. Now, bathroom culture is getting its very own institution in the city of Kitakyushu, with a museum dedicated to toilets that opened this week. The place is the brainchild of TOTO, a high-tech toilet company that wants to show off its excremental wonders. Exhibits include a historical survey of toilets and displays of state-of-the-art crappers with features like automatic lids, temperature controls and water jets. Here’s hoping they’ll have one of those sentient talking toilets from Bob’s Burgers.