1. Ryan Reynolds spent his Halloween as Deadpool snarking at children.
When Captain America and Star-Lord hang out with kids in real life, they’re goddamn sweethearts. Not so for the famously acerbic Deadpool, whose getting the big screen treatment in February. In full costume, Ryan Reynolds spent Halloween hanging out with a bunch of children dressed as superheroes and basically telling them how much they suck. Tiny Wolverine seems to take it in stride, though. Check out the vid below.

2. A boozy Target will open in Chicago.
Well that’s one way to shop for dorm furniture and cheap linens. A soon-to-open Target in Chicago’s Streeterville has applied for a liquor license so that customers can down wine and beer while they shop. That’s one way to drum up sales. Is public drunkenness liable to make the soulless big-box shopping experience more or less hellish? We suspect a little of both.

3. A Google Translate gaffe lead to the promotion of a Spanish “clitoris festival.”
The town of As Pontes in northern Spain was trying to promote a fest in honor grelo, the village’s signature vegetable. The organizers wrote the original text in Galician, then put it through Google Translate for the Spanish-language version of the website. The result? A promotion for the “Feria clítoris,” a.k.a. the Clitoris Festival. Hilariously, the error has been up for months. And really, the clit should have its own festival.

4. David Attenborough narrated Adele’s “Hello” video as a nature documentary.
Two British national treasures—naturalist David Attenborough and pop queen Adele—came together this week in glorious fashion, thanks to a reading the former did on BBC Radio 1. Attenborough overlaid his famously crisp narration over the opening of the singer’s wildly popular “Hello” video, bringing a Planet Earth–style eye to the machinations of musical heartbreak. “Battling against strong winds and the weight of expectation, she’s convinced that now is her time to strike,” Attenborough pronounces as Adele talks into her cell phone. Watch the full wonderment below.

5. Jupiter is a jerk that knocked other planets out of the solar system.
Gas giant? More like a gas giant asshole. Recently, scientists have posited that our solar system’s biggest (and apparently, meanest) planet may have been responsible for ejecting as many as five planets from the sun’s orbit. More likely it was one planet—another gas giant—that likely got too close to Jupiter in the distant past and was wrenched from the sun’s gravitational field. On the bright side, that old heave-ho likely made room for smaller planets (like, say, the Earth) to form. So… Thanks for being a dick, Jupiter?