1. Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer released
Movie fans across the galaxy wept childlike tears of wonder this week, as the first full trailer for J.J. Abrams’s rabidly anticipated Star Wars sequel hit the Internet yesterday. Featuring a stirring voiceover by none other than Luke Skywalker, the video gives us a glimpse of the rejiggered X-Wing, Darth Vader’s cybernetic remains and faces of the movie’s younger stars. And if you don’t get goosebumps at the sight of Han and Chewie… you might need to get your midi-chlorians checked.

2. CEO sets company’s minimum wage at $70K
In a world of bottom-line-hungry robber barons, there is one ridiculously awesome CEO out there. Dan Price, the head of payment-processing company Gravity Payments, announced this week that he would make sure that no one at his 120-person organization makes less than $70,000 per year. Not only that, but to do so, Price is taking the money out of his own salary. Publicity stunt or not, this guy is a straight-up hero. Here’s hoping he kicks off a trend. [New York Times]

3. Men more likely to time-travel murder Hitler
It’s everyone’s favorite time-travel moral quandary (heck, there’s even a Doctor Who episode about it): If you had the chance to go back in time and kill Adolf Hitler before he had the chance to set off the Holocaust and World War II, would you do it? A recent psychological study posed this very serious hypothetical science-fiction question to a group of subjects, and more men than women said that they’d pull the trigger on the young Führer. The study, which also posed other moral questions, seems to indicate that women are more likely to have a negative emotional reaction the idea of, well, cold-blooded murder. But the real question is, would you travel to pre-war Germany via DeLorean, TARDIS or hot tub? [Haaretz]

4. Messenger probe set to crash-land on Mercury
In what may mark mankind’s first time littering on another planet, NASA’s Messenger probe is expected to plunge to the surface of the solar system’s innermost rock this week. The craft has been in orbit around Mercury since 2011, gradually mapping the surface. But Messenger is almost out of fuel, meaning it’s curtains for the little satellite that could. Still, its job isn’t over yet; the impact crater created by the crash could help future scientists measure Mercurian erosion rates. [Space]

5. 1991 Sizzler commercial shows the crazy side of the early ’90s
The Web powers that be recently brought to light a sublimely weird piece of Bush Sr.-era ephemera in the form of a promotional video for Midwest buffet chain Sizzler. The nearly five-minute-long video is the “Too Many Cooks” of the ’90s, complete with an extended jingle about AMERICA and FREEDOM, and slow-motion videos of hugging cowboys, romantic sailor dates, businessmen on giant mobile phones and a waitress with the creepiest smile you’ve ever seen. Just… just watch. (And yes, there are multiple key changes.) [The Daily Beast]