Whether or not you truly believe women are crazy, every guy knows there are certain things women say that they don’t really mean. But being equipped with this knowledge alone isn’t enough. You need to know what they actually do mean when they’re saying them. Fear not, boys. I’m here to help you gain some insight into the female brain. As much as is humanly possible, anyway…
1. “I wish I could meet a nice guy.”
It’s not that she doesn’t think that she means this. She does. But thinking that she means it and actually meaning it are two completely different things. She not only knows tons of nice guys—presumably you’re one of them—she meets them on a regular basis. And you know where they end up? In the friend zone, where they die alone. Women want a little danger and excitement in their men. Those who claim otherwise aren’t telling the truth, though that doesn’t mean that they’re lying. Like a lot of things women say and don’t mean, it’s an entirely unconscious process. They still want to meet a guy who treats them well, but a guy who is merely “nice” ends up filed away in their brains as “a great catch… for someone else.”
How many times has a “super busy” girl that’s “totally into you” ever come around? So why keep falling for it?
2. “I don’t date that type of guy.”
This one can be interpreted at least three ways: 1. “I’ve never dated that type of guy before.” 2. “I am totally into guys like that but a little scared about acting on my desire.” 3. “I don’t date that type of guy anymore,” which is a whole different issue altogether. Regardless, any time a woman says this, take it with a grain of salt and try to suss out which of the three it actually is. Because let’s face it, in at least two of the three cases, you might actually want to be just the type of guy she claims she doesn’t date.
3. “I’m really into you, I’ve just been super busy.”
Come on, man. You know this is b.s. How many times has a “super busy” girl that’s “totally into you” ever come around? How many times has this line been the beginning of the end with regard to you dating someone? So why keep falling for it? What it means is that she’s not that into you and doesn’t want to hurt your feelings by coming right out and saying it. Deep down you probably already knew that. The irony is, the best chance you have of her somehow becoming less busy at some point it to take it in stride and move on.
4. “I’m fine.”
She isn’t. Whereas when men say this they usually mean either “I’m fine” or “Give me a minute and I’ll be fine,” when a woman says this she means “Guess what’s bothering me right now.” Since you aren’t a mind reader, you aren’t ever going to guess right. You might even overplay your hand and give her ten other things to be mad at you about. Tread lightly until she decides to tell you—in painstaking detail—precisely how she’s not fine.
Editor’s note: For a female take on this particular expression, click here.
5. “No, I don’t mind if you do X.”
Whether it’s playing video games or heading out for a night with the boys, rest assured, if you have to ask, she minds, and she minds big time. When you roll back in, get ready for the silent treatment or at least the terse treatment. Think of this as a prequel to “I’m fine” and you’ll start to understand things a bit better.
Jordan Harbinger is a Wall Street lawyer turned Social Dynamics expert and coach. He is the owner and co-founder of The Art of Charm, a dating and relationships coaching company. If you dig this article and want to learn more, visit theartofcharm.com. You can also interact with Jordan on Facebook.