Shaving is task despised by many of us men, yet society forces us to perform the ritual constantly. If only we had known what we were getting into when we pleaded with our bodies fervently freshman year to grow facial hair. All is not lost, however, as presenting the world a finely groomed face does come with its perks – shaving gadgetry. Purchasing an assortment of tools to work on our faces might not be quite as satisfying as doing the same for our cars, but it does help combat the sting of razor burn. Tis the holiday season, so check out some items you’ll be buying yourself this year.
If you are blessed with the ability to produce a full, consistent beard, perhaps you show it off by rocking a sweet goatee. Nothing screams amateur, though, like unevenly groomed facial hair. Enter the GoateeSaver. This device fits over your face, held in place by an attached mouthpiece, to allow you to quickly shave all hair outside of your goatee. Not only will you never again worry about matching goatee sidewalls, but you be done shaving much quicker. As the website says, this is the future of goatee technology. Watch the video for a demonstration, as well as approval from sexy ladies.
Conair Chrome Hot Lather Machine
Remember the great shave you received from your barber? Well, one of his secrets is the warm shaving cream lather he applied. Not only does it feel nice, but the heat softens the skin and opens your pores, allowing you a closer a shave. You can recreate this experience with your own Hot Lather Machine. Simple to use, this device will accept any brand of shaving cream (not gel). Give it a quick shake, turn it on, and in about a minute it is ready to use. To ensure you are manly for placing such a machine on your counter top, it comes comes in chrome.
Cool758 Razor Phone
When they say “razor”, they mean it, unlike those liars at Motorola. Not to be confused with the uber-popular slim calling device put out a couple years ago, this is a phone complete with a functional electric razor. Yes, the phone will make calls, connect to your bluetooth, play mp3s, etc. Detached a plastic covering at the bottom of the phone, though, and you will find the namesake feature, a razor. Forget to pack a blade on your business trip? Finish your morning conference call with a fresh shave. Happy hour meeting after work? Take care of your 5 o’clock shadow in the office and hit the bar looking smooth.
Pyranha Dynamo Wind-up Razor
Your electric is out of batteries and you don’t have time to charge it, what do you do? If you own the the Dynamo Wind-up, simply follow what the name implies and wind the razor to give it some juice. The technology is similar to what you find in emergency flash lights that work off of human power. Likely, the application of an emergency razor will not take off, but this is a good option for campers or travelers who don’t want to worry about running out of battery life or packing a charger. Also, it is a very “green” option for anyone looking to reduce their energy consumption.
Mastodon Straight Razor
Straight razors, while terrifying, are ridiculously cool. When they cost around $2,400, well, they really grab our attention. Even if you are the guy that has everything, you still don’t have this. The Mastodon Straight Razor features a handle that is actually made from 10,000 year old Siberian Wooly Mammoth ivory. The awesome does not stop there. On each handle there is a vintage erotica image visible only under magnification. This is just the kooky feature manufacturer Black Sheep and Prodigal Sonsis known for. Consumers also have the option to customize the handle with scrimshaw or even your own microscopic image. The old-fashion blade comes housed in a ebony and amber-stained wood case, complete with lock and key. Considering the price, you may keep it in your vault.