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What is a bar? It’s man’s version of the old nature show watering hole. In short, a bar is one of the places people go to practice that ever important of all rituals, the mating ritual. More specifically, bars are where guys go to pick up someone to practice said mating ritual. On a nightly basis, worldwide, guys are flooding local lounges, clubs, and bars trying to pick up women. But, there are six girls at bars that you want to hit on, but shouldn’t. If you use your better judgment, i.e. thinking with the big head, you’ll agree.

The sloppy drunk girl.

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Stay away from this charming bar fly at all costs. She’s going to be more trouble than she’s worth. Hitting on a girl that can’t, and won’t, remember your name the next day is just asking for trouble. If the girl doesn’t know when to say when, then you need to say no. You always want to make sure a woman has control of all her faculties. It keeps you from getting accused of taking advantage of her, and, you’ll really know she was in to you or not when you exchange info.

The wild chick.

Sure, she looks like fun. The truth is, more often than not, she’s fishing for attention. All the pseudo-freakiness this young admiration magnet is showing is just an act. Ye sir, the best way to get this girl is to do the inverse of what the other guys are doing. Just don’t pay attention to her. Let her see you not paying attention to her. You won’t have to hit on her, she’ll wonder why you’re not drooling over her and hit on you. Also, as an alternative, check out her quiet friend. The one that isn’t used to attention would love a little, hint.

The girl with her man.

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A lot of you guys get a little liquid courage in you, and you start to act reckless. It is never O.K. to hit on a girl that’s clearly with her man. Don’t do it, or you’re asking to get your face rearranged. If you’re confused as to the relationship, look at body language. If her body is facing his, if they’re making physical contact (hugs and such), if they’re kissing, leave the chick alone. She’s with the guy. Not only would you be disrespecting her, you’d be disrespecting him. Guys don’t do well with being disrespected by other guys.

The lesbian.

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If she’s clearly into girls, don’t bother. Once again, pay attention to the signs. If she’s cuddled in a corner with another woman, just push on man, really. She isn’t going to want what you’re selling. Now if she’s flirting with guys and gals, feel free to approach… respectfully of course.

The last ditch effort chick.


Near the end of the night, guys can get desperate. Your animal instinct is trying to get the best of you. It’s trying to get you to bag some sort of prey. You begin to rationalize “well,I don’t want to leave empty handed”. Look, buddy. If you weren’t interested in her three hours earlier, the only thing that’s changed in that amount of time is the level of alcohol in your system. She’s not magically hotter now. Do yourself a favor and leave her alone.

The bartender


Hitting on a bartender is a great waste of time for most guys. Luring dudes to the bar is her job. She makes her money off of being nice to you so that you’ll keep coming back and spending all that bread on her for a few seconds of “personal” time. Now, while there are ways to get a bartender, trying it at the busiest time of night on the busiest day is plain stupid.