It’s very likely the WikiLeaks emails are the result of Russian hackers trying to meddle in our election.
Additionally, WikiLeaks is headed by an Australian currently fleeing rape and sexual assault allegations, who by all accounts is explicitly trying to meddle in our election because he does not believe the U.S. military should be involved in world affairs. Julian Assange feels Clinton would be militarily aggressive, while Trump, who has mused about abandoning America’s NATO allies, might be passive and isolationist. (And yes, it is a creepy “coincidence” that the guy facing sexual assault allegations is rooting for the guy facing sexual assault allegations.)
It is also possible that at least some of these leaked emails are fake or in some way altered: Neither Assange nor Russian hackers are terribly reliable sources, and the Clinton campaign isn’t going to take the time to say: “This damaging email is completely genuine… this damaging email is completely genuine… this damaging email is fake… this damaging email is completely genuine again…”
That said, the whole affair has provided a unique look inside a presidential campaign. Here’s some stuff we “learned”… but frankly, kind of already suspected.
Campaign managers tend to be the sort of people who are too repulsive even to become politicians and must perpetually exist in the shadows, like vampires and mushrooms.
1. Huma Abedin Is Way More Interested in Hillary Clinton Than She Is in Anthony Weiner.
Quite simply, Huma is the Hillary whisperer, the aide closest to her who is the best way to get her attention. Until recently, in her spare time Abedin was attempting to make a go of it with her husband, the former congressman/full-time sexter Anthony Weiner. Seeing her devotion to her boss, it’s clear how she lasted this long in the marriage: He had to do something spectacularly stupid before she even made time to notice him.
2. Clinton Campaign Chair John Podesta Is Kind of a Dick.
Typical email from Podesta:
“I fucking hate that guy.
“Like I’d like to fucking kick the shit out of him on twitter… but I know that is dumb.”
Which is startling… until you remember that campaign managers tend to be the sort of people who are too repulsive even to become politicians and must perpetually exist in the shadows, like vampires and mushrooms.
3. Hillary Clinton’s Speeches Reveal a Person “At Ease” With Wall Street.
That was the term the New York Times used to describe her attitude toward the fat cats at Goldman Sachs and the like, which is proof that paying someone $225,000 a pop (Hillary’s reported speaking fee) will help them relax.
The most damning thing about the whole private email server thing may be how spectacularly Clinton’s people failed at making it disappear, since Donald Trump will almost certainly be screaming about it during the final debate and at many rallies to come.
4. People Involved With Hillary Really Wanted the Whole Private Email Server Thing to Go Away.
Here we get to potentially the most damaging stuff, with state department members pressing to have information declassified; it’s even inspired rumors of a discussed quid pro quo with the FBI. That said, it’s hardly a shocker Clinton’s people would just want this to be done already (it’s now been over three-and-a-half years since she stopped serving as Secretary of State) and the most damning thing about it may be how spectacularly they failed at making it disappear, since Donald Trump will almost certainly be screaming about it during the final debate and at many rallies to come.
5. Like Any Job, Campaigns Generate Increasingly Inane Email Chains.
This particular one tracks the feverish debate over a potential joke to include in a speech. (Cuz you hear “Hillary Clinton” and you think hilarious.) It reminds us all that any time the word “caveat” is used while discussing humor, something’s gone horrifically awry.
6. Most Emails, from Any Person, Are Pretty Boring.
We’ve already been given access to a trove of Hillary Clinton’s personal emails, invariably banged out on a BlackBerry. They taught us that she sometimes struggles to use a fax machine (“I thought it was supposed to be off hook to work?”), sometimes wonders if a meeting was canceled (“What’s up?”), and sometimes attempts to figure out what’s going on with a different meeting (“I heard on the radio there is a Cabinet mtg this am. Is there? Can I go? If not, who are we sending?”).
Then there’s… this:
Ecuador, which has been providing sanctuary to Assange, has now “temporarily suspended” his Internet access, meaning no new leaks for a bit. Here’s hoping the next batch drops when Hillary Clinton slips up and reveals herself as the reptilian alien queen, because otherwise don’t even bother, Julian.