posted
02/2/12
Sooner or later, you will likely encounter women hailing from Planet Hot Girl. What’s that, you ask? Planet Hot Girl is a magical land out of touch with the rest of reality and humanity. Denizens of Planet Hot Girl have little to no idea how the rest of the world lives. They don’t think of themselves as getting special privileges due to their hotness—they just think that’s how it is for everyone. As you might guess, dating Planet Hot Girl-ians comes with its own unique set of perks and challenges. Here are six things you need to know about the lovely ladies who have descended from this strange alien world. Use them well.
1. She Takes Gifts For Granted
The ladies of Planet Hot Girl don’t think much about getting free drinks in a bar or even getting a diamond necklace from some dude that they barely know. The result? Not only does she expect for you to lavish her with gifts frequently, both on special occasions and otherwise, she’s also generally displeased with anything but top-shelf presents. Unless you’ve got Google guy money, you can see how this can become a problem real fast.
Women from Planet Hot Girl don’t brag about chilling in the VIP with Pauly D. They talk about chilling with Kobe Bryant backstage at the Drake concert.
2. She Schmoozes With Real Celebs
Women from Planet Hot Girl don’t brag about chilling in the VIP with Pauly D. They talk about chilling with Kobe Bryant backstage at the Drake concert. And what’s more, they don’t really brag about it. Rather, they talk casually about it as if to say, “What, weren’t you there?” Chances are, unless you’re a high-powered publicist or other type with tons of access to celebs, it won’t be easy to take her somewhere that impresses her. On the upside, you can definitely tag along to more awesome places than you’d ever get the chance to hit up on your own.
3. She Has No Idea She’s Hot
This is a biggie. Because Planet Hot Girl is filled with—you guessed it—hot girls, your girl may have no idea that she’s actually hot. She thinks she’s pretty, average or even ugly. The worst part? She never shuts up about it, and you have to spend all kinds of time reassuring her that she’s nice to look at. Sounds fun, right?
OK, maybe she has some notion of her hotness.
