Sooner or later, you will likely encounter women hailing from Planet Hot Girl. What’s that, you ask? Planet Hot Girl is a magical land out of touch with the rest of reality and humanity. Denizens of Planet Hot Girl have little to no idea how the rest of the world lives. They don’t think of themselves as getting special privileges due to their hotness—they just think that’s how it is for everyone. As you might guess, dating Planet Hot Girl-ians comes with its own unique set of perks and challenges. Here are six things you need to know about the lovely ladies who have descended from this strange alien world. Use them well.
1. She Takes Gifts For Granted
The ladies of Planet Hot Girl don’t think much about getting free drinks in a bar or even getting a diamond necklace from some dude that they barely know. The result? Not only does she expect for you to lavish her with gifts frequently, both on special occasions and otherwise, she’s also generally displeased with anything but top-shelf presents. Unless you’ve got Google guy money, you can see how this can become a problem real fast.
Women from Planet Hot Girl don’t brag about chilling in the VIP with Pauly D. They talk about chilling with Kobe Bryant backstage at the Drake concert.
2. She Schmoozes With Real Celebs
Women from Planet Hot Girl don’t brag about chilling in the VIP with Pauly D. They talk about chilling with Kobe Bryant backstage at the Drake concert. And what’s more, they don’t really brag about it. Rather, they talk casually about it as if to say, “What, weren’t you there?” Chances are, unless you’re a high-powered publicist or other type with tons of access to celebs, it won’t be easy to take her somewhere that impresses her. On the upside, you can definitely tag along to more awesome places than you’d ever get the chance to hit up on your own.
3. She Has No Idea She’s Hot
This is a biggie. Because Planet Hot Girl is filled with—you guessed it—hot girls, your girl may have no idea that she’s actually hot. She thinks she’s pretty, average or even ugly. The worst part? She never shuts up about it, and you have to spend all kinds of time reassuring her that she’s nice to look at. Sounds fun, right?
4. All Her Friends Are Super Hot
This might even sound like a good thing at first. But consider this: When a caravan of ladies from Planet Hot Girl land on your doorstep, they’re pretty much all looking for the type of attention your girl demands. The down side? Good luck staying as loyal as St. Bernard, dude.
Makeup for a workout? Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
5. She’s High Maintenance
Ladies from Planet Hot Girl tend to be among the most high-maintenance ladies out there. While they might not be as OCD about it as other breeds of high-maintenance women, good luck going to the grocery store or even the gym without her spending an hour putting on makeup.
6. Caveat Emptor
A lady from Planet Hot Girl might be just what you’re looking for, but deep down we doubt it. It’s more the type of thing that’s exciting and charming at first, but gets old really quickly. We’re not saying that you need to preemptively dump her. Just don’t start naming your kids or looking for a house together. After all, there’s a reason that old Jimmy Soul song goes, if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife…
Jordan Harbinger is a Wall Street lawyer turned Social Dynamics expert and coach. He is the owner and co-founder of The Art of Charm, a dating and relationships coaching company. If you dig this and want to learn more from Jordan and The Art of Charm team, visit theartofcharm.com. You can also interact with Jordan on Facebook.