If the mere thought of your girlfriend makes you want to vomit, you could take it as a sign you need couples counseling—or you can be honest with yourself and admit the relationship is probably over. When you’re in a relationship that is salvageable, however, not every little tiff means you need run over to the nearest counselor. The six signs you need couples counseling are not hard to read, although they may be difficult to mend without some help.
You’re unrealistic. If she’s still waiting for her toad to turn into a prince and you’re still waiting for Pamela Anderson to come romping out of the bathroom one night, you both need to get your heads on straight. Expecting unrealistic goals from each other is a sure sign neither of you will be satisfied and both of you could use a little couples counseling.
You’re never wrong. Compromise is a major key to successful relationships and if you can never bend or admit you’re wrong when you are couples counseling is the way to go. Nobody’s keeping score—or at least nobody should—and you won’t become less of a man if you admit you made a mistake taking that left turn on the way Memphis or left the toilet seat up. It’s OK, dude, we’re all human.
You’re never right. Compromise is a major key to successful relationships and if she can never bend—well, you know the rest of it.
You have the same fight 500 different ways. If you’re familiar with this scenario, it’s a blaring sign you need couples counseling. Having the same fight 500 different ways means picking a topic, any topic, and starting an argument. No matter what you’re fighting about, the argument will always find a way to siphon itself toward that same unresolved issue over which you already fought 499 times. Let’s say you start off arguing about whose turn it was to walk the dog, do the dishes or pick up the pizza, and each argument ends with you screaming at each other about money. Time to call in a counselor to help resolve that money issue.
You never show physical affection. Your sex life typically slows down after the initial new-couple pink cloud phase, so not having sex every minute like you used to is not necessarily a sign you need couples counseling. Never showing any type of physical affection is. The affection could be a kiss, a hug or even a snuggle during those horrible DVDs you guys rent. If there’s no physical contact whatsoever, you better get thee to a couples counseling session.
You never show emotional affection. Never showing emotional affection is just as bad as never showing physical affection. If instead of calling her “cutie pie” you have come to refer to her as “nagging shrew,” couples counseling is for you. Never saying a kind word or showing a kind gesture often means there is deep anger seething beneath the surface and it cannot be released unless you dig down and pull it out. Think of it as a nasty weed that will only grow and spread unless you deal with it.