College is a time to knuckle down, hit the books, read a lot and think critically and seriously about your place in the world and what you want to do with the rest of your life. But… it’s also a time to party your face off, hook up with lots of people, scream your lungs out at football games and possibly get locked out of your house without any clothes on. Oh, and it’s also the perfect time to do the following six things. You know Blutarsky (above) would agree. Because he certainly did all of these things before becoming a senator.
Date a girl much different than you. Most guys enter college as fairly straight-laced fellows. And many of them will leave college as fairly straight-laced fellows. And that’s fine. But while you’re in college, you owe it to yourself to stretch the boundaries of who you are. And one of the best ways to do that is by dating a variety of women.
For one thing, you won’t really know the type of woman you enjoy being around the most until you’ve sampled a bunch of different types. Those types could include: cheerleader, nerd, artsy, hippie, goth, girls with lots of piercings, tatted-up girls, black girls, white girls, Latin girls, Asian girls, whatever. Secondly, being with all of these different types will help you learn things about yourself—and life in general. Because trust us, girls with piercings know stuff.
Protest something. After college, you’ll probably get a full-time job, work 40 hours or more a week and spend lots of time thinking about things like car insurance and mutual funds and maybe even wedding anniversaries and baby food and diapers. So you won’t really have the time or energy to stand around with a sign in your hand, shouting at The Man about something. Even if you actually care about it a lot.
Therefore, the best time to go all Martin Luther King, Jr. on an issue you’re passionate about is right now. Because nobody cares if you miss a macroeconomics class or two to join a rally for a noble cause. In fact, they sort of expect you to. Plus, you might actually make a difference and, like, effect change, which would be cool.
Travel somewhere insane. You have the rest of your life to see Las Vegas and Disney World. College is best suited for the crazy road trip. And bonus points if it’s spontaneous. Gather up a few friends (or just one), hop in somebody’s car, fill up the tank and hit the road. Next stop: New Orleans. Or Austin. Or… Athens, Georgia. The destination doesn’t even really matter too much. The point is the freedom (and the fun) that comes with heading off somewhere new, with an open mind and no preconceived notions about what will happen next. This also means you should probably bring a passport, because you might end up in Mexico.
Develop a skill. Maybe you already know you’re going to go into business after college. That’s great. But you should still take an acting class. Or learn Chinese. Or enroll in some piano lessons. Or review movies for the campus newspaper. Who knows, maybe you’ll find something that you’re even more passionate about than making money. But even if you don’t, you’ll be acquiring a skill that will set you apart from everybody else applying for that hedge-fund job after graduation. Plus, ask any girl. They’ll all tell you they love a guy who can speak Chinese while playing the piano.
Compete at something. Hard. College is a great time to do about 37 different things on any given day. But it’s also a time to become really, really obsessed with one thing. Such as a team sport. Or an individual sport. Or a pie-eating competition. Or creating the greatest Homecoming float on campus. At least once during your stint in college, you should devote all of your resources to being the best in a particular pursuit. Go all out with your friends/teammates, and whether you win or lose, you can always say you gave it everything you had. Which, at the risk of sounding cheesy, is really all that matters and will leave you feeling damn satisfied.
Get in amazing shape. A lot of guys go to college and pack on the pounds as if they’re trying to win a John Candy lookalike contest. The irony is, there will never be a better time in your life to have an awesome body. Think about it. You’re in your late teens or early 20s, so your metabolism is as good as it’ll ever be. You don’t have any joint pain yet, so you can literally run for hours and still hop out of bed the next day. You probably have access to a fully loaded gym that’s open around the clock. And you’re walking or riding a bike everywhere, so you’re getting some exercise even without really trying. Your biggest nemesis is the keg. To which we respond: one, drink whiskey some nights. And two: sure, pounding loads of beer is fun, but so is making out with the girl who likes you because you look like an Adonis.