The best thing to say in an elevator is usually absolutely nothing. Complete strangers crammed close enough to each other to catch a whiff of B.O. are typically not in the mood to chat. But sometimes you just can’t help yourself, especially if you spot a hot chick and know being in an elevator means you’ll have her complete attention. If you’re going to break the non-speaking elevator rule of etiquette anyway, you may as well check out six things to say while you’re doing it.
The gentlemanly compliment. Giving a gal a compliment always works to get at least a “thank you” in response, unless the woman is a total unfeeling witch. Since people are in close proximity and typically self-conscious on an elevator, go for something that is not situated above her boobs or butt. This leaves out necklaces and short, short skirts. “Cool coat,” “nice hair” and “great shoes” work.
The cornball. If you happen to be a geek and already know some gals find geeks charming, the cornball elevator comment is the one for you. Pick something inside the elevator as your subject, then go for an all-out groaner. “My mom always said I was good at pushing people’s buttons.”
The good humor man. Humor can work in an elevator as it eases the tension of being stuck in close proximity to a total stranger who might be a serial killer. Conjuring up an amusing scenario could do the trick, as long as it’s actually amusing. Something like, “Can you imagine being stuck in here with a circus clown?” could work. If she’s tickled by your comment, you get a big smile. If she’s not, you fall into the cornball category.
The come-on compliment. If you’re looking for a quicker pickup and don’t really care about being a gentleman, you can go for an elevator comment that is a definite come-on. Here’s where you do comment on something situated above her boobs or butt. “Beautiful necklace—and beautiful location.” “That skirt really shows off your assets.”
The come-on sans compliment. “Ever do it in an elevator?” gets right to the point. Such a comment may get you a giggle, a glare or it could even merit a slap in the face. On the other hand, it might get you laid.
The deep-thinker. To showcase your deep intellect, or at least your ability to come up with something more interesting than “nice hair“, go for a comment that elicits a bit of brain power. “What would you do if the elevator cables broke?” is not the kind of brain power you’re looking for. Instead, go for something like, “What kind of décor would you put in this elevator?” or “Do you think elevators should serve drinks?”