Getting rid of a crazy girlfriend is not always easy, because, well, she’s crazy. You don’t know if she’ll go quietly, or if she’ll go all Lorena Bobbitt. And even after you get her to leave, there’s a chance she’ll linger. The thing about crazy is that crazy has no patterns. You can’t quite read a crazy girlfriend. So, understanding where she’s coming from can make quantum physics seem like the “ABCs.” Breaking up with a loony girlfriend is going to take some proper planning, a little finesse, and a whole lot of luck. These six tips for breaking up with a crazy girlfriend will help.
Make her hate you. Don’t do anything stupid, like cheat on her. You don’t want to have her reaching for her blades. But, you should purposefully do things that’ll make her not want to spend time with you. It’s a passive-aggressive approach to severing ties. Complain about everything. Show no interest in what she wants to do or try. Make her think that the wonderful, charismatic guy that you are is fading away. Make her think that she’s wasting her time with you. You see, when you break up with someone proactively, you can trigger a crazy episode. Her ego will be bruised causing her to lash out. If you allow her to break up with you, no harm done.
Keep your guard up. Remember, you’re dealing with crazy. Crazy may not leave you alone just yet. Even if she’s “broken up” with you, it doesn’t mean she won’t try to get you back. Your best bet is to stay out of sight for a while. Don’t go showing up to places with a new chick just yet. Don’t change your numbers at this point either. At this stage you want to continue the charade. Just be your normal, disgusting self. You want to make sure she’s really done with you or you run the risk of summoning her inner beast.
Watch her friends. Crazy can travel in packs. As a matter of fact, crazy girlfriends often exhibit crazy behavior because their friends are equally as nuts and support their crazy actions. So in order to make the break up stick, you need to watch her friends as well, because they’ll be watching you. Play up any negative misconception they have about you. You want her cronies to run back and and verify to your crazy girlfriend that she made the right choice in leaving you.
Give her time to meet someone else. Once you’ve gotten to this point, you’re pretty much in the home stretch. You’ll find out when she meets someone new, because either her or her friends will gloat about it to you. Feign sadness. Smile on the inside. But don’t, don’t, don’t ever suggest something stupid like reconciling with your crazy girlfriend.
Change your number. She’s moved on, so now you can. Get rid of your old number. Just in case. Play it safe. You may even want to block her from emailing you or reaching out to you via social networking sites. Eventually her brand of crazy will be tormenting a new soul. You can breathe a sigh of relief.
Watch your back. Remember, crazy girlfriends are like tornadoes. They can touch down without warning. Try not to frequent places you know your ex-twister visits. Because, you just never know.