The dating game can be one of the most difficult sports to play. Everybody has ideas on how to be a peak performer. In this particular contest, you have the MVP’s, you have the All Stars, you have your starters, bench players, and even guys that shouldn’t be in the game. The problem is, not everybody that thinks he’s an MVP shows up in crunch time. There are a lot of big game hypes out there that really don’t know what they’re talking about. For every Kobe Bryant in the dating game, you have a million Lebron James types that still haven’t proven themselves. Here are six classic types of talkers. These six people you should never take dating advice from.
The braggard. What a windbag. This idiot may have had some luck with the opposite sex, but the fact that he has to brag about it means he ain’t been that lucky. You know the types. They’ll always tell you the three same stories of these awesome conquests that they’ve had. There’s a reason the guy only tells you three stories. He’s only got three stories. One’s made up. The other strangely mirrors a porn, and the last one is about his high school sweetheart. He has no useful dating advice for you.
The player. Sure, this guy can probably teach you how to pick up chicks. But, that’s about it. He’ll show you how to pick up chicks. What he can’t do is expound on that knowledge and teach you how to actually date one of them. This is because he doesn’t date. Sure he may spend time with girls, but it isn’t dating. It’s more like a collection of data on a potential target in order to better subdue said target.
The married guy (who married his first girlfriend). This guy is like the game show contestant that answers the first question right and walks away with the $100 prize. Or the soldier that’s never seen war. Yeah, technically they both have experience, but how much? If he married the first chick he met and or slept with, then he really hasn’t gone through the fire of the dating process. Sure, he learned how to correctly push the buttons of one girl, but it doesn’t make him an expert on the other three billion chicks on the planet.
Your horndog buddy. Everybody has this type of friend. He’s the vulture of the group. He’d talk to anything with two legs and a vagina. He doesn’t care or need to care about love, getting to know someone, or dating them for that matter. He’s just out to fulfill that most primal of male needs, sexual desire. In 25 years this guy will still be holding up the end of a bar trying to go home with something. Tell him to keep his advice to himself.
The religious nut. He’s the extra nutty peanut butter brained individual that thinks things will just happen for him. In his mind there’s no need to try to understand the opposite sex because a hand from the sky will drop his perfect woman in front of his lap. He’s also the guy that doesn’t believe in self improvement either. Take advice from this dude only if you want to spend your Friday through Thursday nights alone.
The starry eyed virgin. In many ways, this cat resembles the nutty religious guy. He has a skewed understanding of women and dating in general. He’s overly romantic, and giving, and is quite willing to put women on pedestals far before they’ve earned the right to be there. He’s the type of guy that believes all women are fair damsels in distress, and because of this he’s constantly gluing his fragile heart back together. Poor guy. Someone should tell him that bad and selfish show up in both genders of the species.