They say don’t judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes. Well, we’re ignoring that advice. Because we only need to look at your shoes to know they’re awful, and we’re definitely judging you for wearing them. If you don’t want to repel women, here are six types of shoes to avoid.
1. Flip flops: I think it’s universal knowledge that men’s feet are not attractive. So unless you’re going to the beach, please leave the flip flops at home. And if you go out in flip flops paired with jeans, we’re gonna have to make a citizen’s arrest and send you to shoe jail.
2. Sandals: Don’t think that just because your sandals are not flip flops you’re off the hook. Let me stop you right there. Men’s sandals, or mandals, are actually worse than flip flops. Especially any style that incorporates a bungee cord feature. It’s your foot, not a fully loaded truck bed embarking on a cross country road trip. In fact, let’s just make a rule: Nothing you wear on your body should involve bungie cords.
3. Crocs: This should be a no-brainer, but let’s put it here in writing for good measure. Let the record show: No crocs.
4. Grandpa sneakers: If your tennis shoes are all white, full of volume and great for arch support, you might be wearing grandpa sneakers. They’re often New Balance brand, and they’re great for a brisk walk around the neighborhood. We’re assuming you’re not a grandpa, so please buy some respectable Nikes.
5. Square-toe dress shoes: Wearing square toe dress shoes is the fastest way to alert everyone in your vicinity that you know nothing about style. These were cool in the ’90s—they were usually made of shiny black non-leather, and they had super chunky rubber soles. Sound like a pair you own? Time to burn them and never speak of them again.
6. Tassel shoes: Who are you, Scott Disick? Are you a male runway model? Are you a high-fashion Italian gentleman being featured on a street style blog? No? Then you cannot pull off tassel loafers.