If you ask most men, they’ll tell you that women are a source of vast bewilderment; sometimes they cry for absolutely no reason, sometimes they cry over trifling issues, and sometimes they cry because of something genuinely distressing. Should you want to console a lady in tears, there are some responses you should never utter to her. Even if you think she’s crying over some completely frivolous matter, you risk womanly passive-aggression, couch exile, withholding of sex, screaming, having everything about you being insulted, and getting slapped in the face if you say one wrong word.
What we’ve got here are seven phrases to never tell a crying woman, especially if you’re related or married to her.
“Get Over It.” This is just a really mean thing to say to anyone when they’re upset. Everyone handles loss and sorrow differently, and while you may personally be able to just get over something depressing, others might not. Especially women; sorry to paint the ladies with such a broad brush, but many women will cry over circumstances men find inconsequential. If you tell a woman with tears streaming down her face to “get over it,” you deserve whatever reprimand she doles out.
“It’s not that bad/It could be worse.” You have to realize that whatever that chick is bawling her eyes out over is, in fact, the worst situation ever in her mind at that moment. Despite what you may think, it could not be worse—it’s DEFCON 1. It’s F5. You get the idea. Whether or not you can see it, you’re totally belittling her anguish by brushing it off as “not bad.” If she’s crying, it’s bad.
“I know how you feel.” No, odds are you really don’t know how she feels. Do you really think she’s going to buy it when you say you sympathize over her gaining a pound after a month of dieting? All this will do is make her feel patronized and the problem will seem downplayed. And when an upset woman feels her grief is not special, the water works will be amplified two-fold, minimum.
“Are you on your period?” Females can certainly be upset sans bleeding, and to say this will undermine the issue while you simultaneously demean her gender. That’s thin ice to tread, dude. It’s best to never go here, even if you know for a fact that she’s on her period. Just leave this whole minefield alone.
“Please don’t cry.” Surprised this one is on the list? It’s actually better to not say this, even if you truly don’t want to see her crying. Rather, the ideal solution is to just let her cry and get those blue devils out of her system. To ask her not to cry will translate in her mind to, “You are so unbalanced that you need to cry, you freak.” As a result, she will likely cry harder and feel worse. It may seem compassionate to you, but just hold her and listen to her instead.
“You think that’s bad?” Do not compare whatever she’s sobbing over to something worse that happened to you or that happened in general. Believe us, even if it truly is worse (like how you had your testicle crushed beneath a flaming steamroller driven by clog-dancing hippos), she won’t even pretend to care. All that’s on her mind at that moment is her problem and how it’s the worst thing to ever happen.
“You’re overreacting.” Not a good choice of words for a lady in despair because, in a woman’s mind, she can never ever overreact about anything. If you tell her this, she’s going to feel like her crying means she’s mentally unhinged (may or may not be true for other reasons). The end product of doing so could be her showing you just how much she can overreact, possibly with projectiles. Not only did you make her feel worse, now she’s angry at you! Once again, just say nothing, OK?