Sometimes a guy’s best wingman… is a wingwoman. That’s the tagline of Just Go With It, the new Adam Sandler/Jennifer Aniston/Brooklyn Decker flick. And while the very notion of a wingwoman may be news to some folks, pickup pros have long known that, beer commercials notwithstanding, women are often much better wings than men are. Think about it: They can save you from looking desperate, they’re generally great talkers, and best of all, they’re not competing with you, so there’s never a debate over who’s jumping on the grenade.
But who are these mysterious women, how can they give you an edge, and how can you best incorporate one into your girl-chasing game? To find out, we went straight to the source. Laurie Davis, founder of eFlirt Expert, is not only a highly sought after online and in-person dating coach, but she’s also an insanely cute professional wingwoman who, for a reasonable price, will spend an evening in New York or Boston helping you meet other women. As told to Made Man, here are her top seven wingwoman secrets.
1. Wingwomen are a breed apart
A wingwoman and a wingman serve different roles. A wingman is basically your dating publicist. He promotes you and your best qualities, keeps the unsavories at bay and always has your best interests at heart. Using a wingwoman is kind of like inbound dating marketing. It’s a strategy for men to use to get introduced to leads easily. The wingwoman becomes friends with other females, talks the guy up and makes introductions.
2. Wingwomen provide “social proof”
Social proof with a wingwoman happens once she starts chatting with a new gal. It’s less about being seen with a hot mama and more about the fact that the guy is friends with a female who is so awesome that someone wants to instantly befriend her. When a female meets a great wingwoman, the guy’s stock automatically rises by association.
3. The ideal wingwoman is both hot…and cool.
It’s important that the wingwoman is pretty, but it’s more important that she’s outgoing with an incredible personality and is quick on her feet. She should be the type of person who can make friends in the ladies’ room. She should never be someone who a guy has romantic chemistry with because other females will sense it. It could also put the guy in a sticky situation if his wingwoman gets jealous. Basically, your wingwoman should be friendly, fun and genuine.
4. Wingwomen travel well
Where you go with your wingwoman all comes down to the type of lady you want to meet. If you’re going for quantity, go to a bar, club or beach where single ladies will be easy to spot. But if you’re more focused on meeting a specific type of woman, try venues where you can find a common interest like a wine tasting or lecture. Any good wingwoman should be able to work her magic in a less assuming setting.
5. Wingwomen need the info
You can’t get good results from a wingwoman if you don’t clue her into what you’re looking for! Before the night begins, make sure you let her know what your goal is. When I wingwoman for clients, the focus is making introductions so the guy can flirt, get numbers and ultimately go out on dates. With a friend, it’s possible for you to be her wingman, too, hanging with the bros and introducing her to them. However, when you are mutual wings, results are not as instant since she’s also involved with her own flirting scenarios. On the upside, you won’t feel obligated to pick up her tab as a reward for selfless wing work.
6. Three rules for the rookie wingwoman
One, the best approach for a first time wingwoman is to simply think about making new girlfriends. This mindset will take the pressure off and remind her that all she has to do is be herself and focus on having a good time. Two, she should never force conversation about her friend. Being too complimentary is a red flag to a woman that things aren’t genuine. So, keep things light before the introduction. Three, when she does bring up the guy, it’s important to create interest through relevance. For example, if her new girlfriend mentions she studied abroad in Spain, the wingwoman can tell the story of how her guy friend just traveled there and had an awesome time.
7. If you love your wingwoman, set her free
The thing you should be most conscious of when you work with a wingwoman is body language. Both you and her need to physically appear as though you’re single and looking in order for the night to go smoothly. Even if your wingwoman is your best friend, her body language should read as neutral. Also, she shouldn’t be by your side for much of the night. Her being seen with other guys is a plus, because it lessens any suspicion that she’s dating you. Her role is to get friendly with other women, talk you up, make the introduction and then leave you both to flirt. Good luck!