“My dad kills people for a living.” Disclosing deep, dark family secrets is usually not a good move during pillow talk. Especially if they involve murder, mayhem or illegal activities. The woman wants to bask in the delight you just shared, not bask in the horrific realization that she just slept with the son of the Son of Sam.
“By the way, I have herpes.” After-the-fact is definitely not the time to tell the girl about your venereal diseases, especially if you two did not engage in any safe sex practices. Such disclosures should be made WAY before pillow talk—or even way before you reach the bedroom. Even if you practice safe sex, you are better off letting your partner know what she’s in for, warts and all.
“I can’t wait to tell the guys.” There is no way to ruin an intimate pillow talk moment than proclaiming you’re going to run out and share all about your intimacy. Even if you are a total boob and do engage in caddish sex talk with the boys, never admit to doing it during pillow talk. In fact, just don’t do it at all.